Christmas Update

Michael is out of the hospital; thank God.

The Boyd family Christmas was still cancelled, but we will make it up with some big family bash in the middle of the year.

The Mangas family Christmas was a blast as usual, with 6 bajillion little tykes running around. Some are not so little, like Lacey, Jaycee, Taylor, Kobe, and Jaron, who now range from 6th to 9th grades. Sheesh, they're old! My little baby Blade is in 1st grade now, and was reading to me; he even knew words like "auditorium." Fantastic! He and I are madly in love, and he really makes family get-togethers extra-special. I played Spades with Aunt Jana, Shawna, and Tracey, and we had a blast. I even sat at the adult table for the first time. It's nice to be considered an adult after being the baby for so many years!

The holidays are supposed to be a really difficult time after a family member has died, but it was just as bustling and exciting as usual. The only bad part was when family pictures were taken. Dad was always messing with that old camera and rearranging the wiggling kids and the uncomfortable adults for the perfect family portrait. Aunt Jana took over as photographer, but it just wasn't the same. The worst part was when individual family groups had photos taken. Aunt Jean's crew had theirs taken, then the giant Estle clan, then the Mangas'. That consisted of Maryann, my step-mother, and me this year. Mike and his new fiance, Jenny, had already left, and Doug, Stephanie, Benji, Shelbi, and Jason were all missing this year. Talk about awkward. I could feel people looking at our meager picture and fighting that sad look. At least Aunt Jean had a huge family to cover up Uncle Glen's absence. She must have been having a really hard time, too.

I guess Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I'm really relieved that it's all over. I've always felt like I'm kind of the black sheep with Dad's family. I don't even know why. No one has ever shown me anything but love, but I feel different for some reason. The drive to Grandma's every year is a bit tense, but 3 seconds after I walk into the door and have ribs crushed by my army of little cousins and have 20 "SUZANNE! We're so happy to see you!"s, I wonder what I was ever nervous about. That feeling comes back every year, before every family holiday, but it just seems unfounded. Hm.

I went Christmas carolling with the (get this:) Christmas Carrollers...HA...it's a group of Carroll High School Alumni (plus one random kid), so we have named ourselves with that play on words. Cute. Anyway, it was filled with the traditional versions of many Christmas favorites and the fun, jazzy, "Doop doop, doop do do" version of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas". We were loud, sometimes off-key, and full of enough Christmas spirit to make Delilah, the Lite 99.9 all-Christmas-all-the-time station deejay, seem like the Grinch. We shared old memories, listen to Stephen Brandstetter's AWFUL jokes, and drank more cocoa than should be humanly possible.

After carolling, I met Nate Watson, and old high school friend, at Waffle House. We drank coffee and talked for 4 hours, and had a blast. He moved to Texas, and I really miss him. He said he's going to try to come visit me in Maryland during break, so I hope he is able to!

This blog was boring; I'm so sorry. I hate writing these bland update blogs, and I'm sure you hate reading them even more, but I think they're important. Aunt Jean told me today that she reads my blog, and I'm so glad. I'm able to keep people updated about things going on in my life, and I completely suck at keeping in contact with people. It's no reflection on how important they are to me...I'm just awful at it with everyone! So I apologize to those of you whom I haven't spoken to in a while. Leave comments, and let me know you're reading.

Love and Christmas spirit,

Suzanne

Nervous / Merry Christmas!

In my last post, I ended with a to be continued of sorts. Sandy, Risha's mother (see archived post about Risha), called me out of the blue. She was washing dishes, and suddenly remembered that Risha used to put all of her friends' addresses and phone numbers in an old address book that was packed away in some boxes. Our phone number was in it. I am so thankful that she called. She sounds...well, she sounds like her child just died at an early age from a tragic cause. My datebook was filled to capacity, and i looked at Tuesday (tomorrow) and put a big X through everything. Some things are more important. Mom decided to go with me, so we'll be traveling to Indiana tomorrow. We'll stop by to see my Grandma Mangas, too. I just want Sandy to know that I will always be around for her when she needs me. Risha kind of pushed me away (Sandy told me she did that to all of her "decent" friends), but I see no reason to abandon her mom. I's nervous. We were raised the exact same way, and things could have very easily been the other way around. It could have been my mom who was washing dishes and wondering what went wrong. It could have been my mom who found my old address book and called Risha. Risha and her mom could have been driving to Dayton tomorow to show my mom they were still there for her after so many years. It could have gone the other way. It's just...sobering...pun certainly not intended.

I don't think I'll be posting for a while, so check back only if you're bored. I may decide to throw in a post here and there, but nothing regular. I'll be back in full swing after the New Year.

Please have a Christmas that is full of tacky, twinkly lights; carols sung loudly and off key; stomachs that are just past comfortably full; phone calls from old friends; cards from people you haven't spoken to in decades; carpets full of pine needles that just won't vacuum up; shopping trips that will make your credit card bill far too high, but the smiles of your closest friends and family members far bigger than you could have imagined; and, I do hope, church services that are so beautiful that they make your heartbeat quicken and remind you that Christmas is amazing not only because of everything I previously mentioned, but because we are lucky enough to have had a baby boy, whom we've never officially been introduced to, be born and give us all a much needed second chance.

Merry Christmas, friends and family. I love you.

P.S. Welcome to my newest reader, the amazing Miss Kristi! I hope you will be both informed and entertained!

Surprisingly, I have decided to test my patience and use the computer at my parents' house. Oh my goodness. This computer is s-s-s-l-l-l-o-o-o-w-w-w!

My grades are all in, and I have all A's and B's. Bravo to me! I have a 3.588 for the semester, and a 3.468 cumulative now. I can't believe my GPA actually went up! Somehow I worked my ass off at the end and got an A in Social Policy. That clas was really tough, but I learned a lot.

So I had a doctor's appointment this morning to get tested for Cushing's Disease. You can google that. After driving around the parking lot for 20 minutes trying to find a spot, I finally found one. I put on my turn signal, ease up behind the car backing out, and politely wait. Just as I was turning into the spot, this WWI veteren (he had to be, I swear) who was at least a 105 years old gunned it, planning to ram my little Cavalier. I let him have the space. I drove around for another 10 minutes, and found the last space in the last row. *sigh* So I start to run toward the hospital (by this time I'm 13 minutes late, and they cut you out of the system after 15 mintues past your appoitnment), and slip on the ice. I fly through the air, and land with a painful *THUD* on my biscuits. Every one of the 15 or so people stared for about 30 seconds until one man said, "Uh, Ma'am, are you ok?" I replied, "Yeah, only my pride is hurt," and i continue to make a b-line toward the front door. Once I got there, I knew I'd only be about 30 seconds away from where my appointment was. Surprise, surprise, the hospital decided it was a grand time to instal 10-foot plywood blockades. Remodeling the already newly remodeled foyer was obviously at the top of the hospital's list, not salting the sidewalks or creating more parking spaces. After running all the way around the hospital, I make it to the front window at exactly 10:16. "I'm sorry, I just marked you in the computer as a no-show. You'll have to call the appointment line and make a new appointment." "But...[insert ENTIRE story here]" "Yes, but you should have been on time. I can't help you. NEEEEEEEEXT!"

Oh my goodness.

I nearly karate chopped her head off.

I felt no restraint while cursing her as I stomped out of the door and leaving a waiting room full of people with uncomfortable loks on their faces.

*Sigh*

So I have a new appointment on Thursday, and I will be leaving my house a full hour before the appointment in scheduled. Sheesh.

Risha's mother is on the phone with my mother. We haven't heard from her in at least 10 years.

I'm going to go.

I'll let you know how this works out. I wish I could hug her.






Suz.

GoodSearch

I just stumbled upon this website, goodsearch.com.

You choose the charity of your choice (I chose my grade school alma mater, St. Helen), and every time you search, 1 cent is donated to them. I'm sad to see that poor little St. Helen has so far only raised less than $3.00 in 3 years, so I'm taking the time to advertise it on my blog (not that I have an astounding readership, but every little bit helps). It's through Yahoo! search, so the search is pretty good, and who doesn't want to help out just by sitting in front of the computer?

So, whether you choose St. Helen or not (I hope you do!), please use goodsearch.com for all of your internet searching needs from now on. Thanks!

Big Girl Job in Boston?

I was checking my email, and I received an e-newsletter from CommonGoodCareers.org. I signed up with them when I went to the Idealist conference in Chicago (again, a BIG thank you to Doug for funding that trip. It was amazing!). They are a nonprofit career website, including career development, job listings, and interesting new information related to the field. One of the jobs recently posted was with Horizons for Homeless Children. It's an organization that provides services to homeless children and their families. They have preschools/daycare centers only for homeless kids, and they also have PlayPlaces, which give kids a safe place for them to play. Playing is so key to proper development, and I love what this organization does! They even help older homeless kids get through the college application process, which is terrifying and overwhelming for any kid. The position I applied for is the Events and Donor Relations Manager. I would be focusing only on fundraising events and donor cultivation, which are my 2 favorite parts of development. I had Laura and Andrew both spruce up my cover letter and resume, and I fixed them up a few more times, so they should be in pretty good shape. The frustrating thing about resumes is that they're never perfect. So I emailed those out to the contact person for the job, and I'll call on Wednesday to make sure she received it. I'm so nervous and excited! I've always been one to think 10 steps ahead, so it's hard not to get my hopes up. Wish me luck!


Suzanne M. Mangas,
Big Girl Job Getter.

Worst Blogger Ever

Everyone has his/her faults; I have many. My most obvious one to you, my deservedly not-so-loyal readers, is that I am a terrible blogger. Every time I post, I promise that I will be a better blogger. I promise to update you nearly daily. I promise to give you interesting stories. I fail. I lie. I am truly sorry.

On with the blog:

Vagina Monologue rehearsals are not a source of fun stories. We don't even rehearse. We make vaginas out of construction paper and glitter. My vagina wears a pink, sparkly tutu and a Cubs hat. Weird.

Classes are finished, and exam week is all that stands between be and my 15-day Christmas vacation. I have to take intersession courses to get back on track for graduation, and I'll be in the Burg on January 1st. LAME!

I checked my Chemistry grade today, which was posted outside of the lab. I have to take the final to get an A in the class; moreover, I have to get a 95.5% on the final to get that A. I will studying ALL weekend for that exam. If I get a B in a 4-credit class, I can certainly kiss graduating cum laude goodbye. I'm already barely hanging on with 0.04 of a point above the minimum. I keep saying that I don't care, and that I just want to graduate, but I'm so pissed that a year full of tragedy effed up my GPA like that. Looking back, I know I handled it well, but I watched one semester tank my 3.6 GPA down to a 3.44. Speaking of my unfathomably shitty year, let me give you a rundown by month:

January: Dad died
March: Uncle Glen died
August: Ivan and I broke up (I consider this a personal tragedy, so it is included in my list)
November: Risha, my childhood best friend died
December: Michael, my cousin with whom I am very close, was hospitalized with a very serious condition (this is still going on)

GAHHHHHH!

2007 has a new motto for me:

2007: Keep On Suckin'

I wish I could put my cleverness to better use.

Now for the serious part of the blog, the part that will certainly make me cry while writing it:

My friend, Phil, asked me the the other day if I would spend one more day with my dad if I could. The answer that I was supposed to give was, "oh, no, it would only be a tease, blah blah blah." That's what he said about his father. But I really would spend another day with him. We'd go fishing. I'd spend the entire day cracking jokes with him, and eating sandwiches by the pond. I'd tell him what a great man he is. Some people are just naturally great people. They just seem to have this light around them that shines onto everyone else, and never have anything negative inside them. My dad had to work to become that kind of person; he worked damn hard, too. He was the first to admit he didn't live his life in the best way, and didn't treat people the way he should have. But he recognized that, and worked hard to change it. He became one of those people with the light around them. I am so proud of him. I never told him, either. We were never alone, and that's not the kind of thing you say around other people. I wish I had just told him, "Hey, Dad, let's go to lunch alone." I would take that last day with him, and spend the entire time telling him how much I love him. I didn't always love him. I was a bitter, angry little girl, and harbored a lot of hatred for him inside. I had to work that out, too. My Dad's death was so hard because we didn't always have a strong relationship; we had to work for ours. I really only loved hanging out with my dad a few years before he died. I just got something, and it was taken away. I hate that. I just hope that people in heaven pay attention to stuff that happens down here. I hope he hears me when I pray. I hope he's reading over my shoulder as I type this and is smiling. I just hope he knows that I loved him sooo much, and still do. I hope he knows that I am proud of who he became and how hard he worked to become that. I hope he knows that I don't hold any of that childhood crap against him. I hope he will watch me graduate this Spring. I hope he's feeling that same thing that I am, that he's screaming inside his head, wishing I could hear, "I LOVE YOU, TOO! I'M PROUD OF YOU, TOO!" If nothing else, I hope we share that feeling.

Yeah, I cried. Told ya.



Love,

Suzanne Marie Mangas
Wannabe Blogger Extraordinaire

*Sigh*

Risha Danielle Pratt, 21, died Tuesday, November 13, 2007.

That's pretty much all the obituary said. I looked at the other obituaries of the various Ediths and Joes and Betsys. They were all at least 70. Their obituaries mentioned how they enjoyed pot-luck dinners, croquet, and going to the park with their grandchildren. Risha's never mentioned anything she liked. She only liked drugs. That defined who she was, and it killed her. She overdosed and died. She died on a Tuesday. A Tuesday?! Why did she not have anything better to do on a Tuesday night than do enough drugs to kill her? Why wasn't she watching reruns of Full House? Why wasn't she doing laundry? Why wasn't she doing anything that the rest of the country does on a Tuesday night? I just wish that if she had to die, it would've been on a Saturday night. We used to make up dance routines to TLC's "Waterfalls" and perform them for my mom--over and over and over again. We'd get halfway through, and fall down from giggling so hard, and try it again. We used to play Barbies. We spent hours dreaming of being teenagers (the coolest people on the planet). We'd exchange clothes, and in the spirit of the divorce generation, "share custody" of some outfits. Why am I in college and she's in the grave? What happened? When did we become such different people?

Dad died in January.
Uncle Glen died in March.
Ivan and I broke up in August.
Risha died in November.

This year sucks.

Fuck 2007.

In response so L.B., your little brother was great! Abundance was a really cute play. It was sort of like Desperate Prairiewives. Nice night out.

And please come to Vagina Monologues! It should be really good!



-Suzanne

Ok, ok, I Need to Update...

So, I've been slacking. I understand. But think of it this way: since I've slacked for 2 weeks, I'll have lots of stuff to tell you!

Vagina Monologues:
I'm in it! I'm SOOOO excited! I auditioned for the Vagina That Loved to Please Women, and I got it! VM will be February 15 and 16 here in Frostburg, so be sure to make the drive! The show is an amazing experience, especially for women, and my house is big enough to hold many people! Our couches are very comfy, and the floors aren't bad either.

Giving Blood:
Oh. My. Goodness. I felt queasy-pass-outty for 2 days! Yuck! I was terrified to give blood (because when I get blood taken, I feel like I'm going to pass out and throw up, and that's only when they take a couple of vials!), but when the Red Cross lady told me I was saving 3 different people's lives with one bag of blood, I felt way better. It brought a lot of perspective to it. It's difficult to have a pint of blood drained from your body when the only reward people talk about is a free ipod cover. Sheesh. But I survived, and now I'm feeling fine, aside from a big bruise on my inner elbow.

College Bowl:
College Bowl is a trivia game (like Jeopardy!) that is the collegiate version of Quiz Bowl in high school (you know, that show where all the nerdy kids went on public access television and answered random questions). I was the captain of Team SGA (woo hoo!). We beat the UPC (University Programming Council) team by a bajillion and two points, and then we faced Team Asshole. I forget their team name, but they were awfully mean and even more unattractive. They had won the last 3 years (oh! bow down! ugh...), and thought they were hot shizz. Well, Team SGA gave them a run for their money, but in the end, we were defeated. They were 4 guys from Pi Lambda Phi fraternity, and let me tell you, they were the opposite of the stereotypical frat boys. Overweight, sloppy, poor dental hygeine, hillbilly stoner kids with no sense of sportsmanship. Their frat brothers were even whispering answers from the back (although many were wrong answers)! Ugh, I get so heated thinking about it! But Team SGA has BLAST, and we are confident in our trivia skills...good luck to Pi Lambda Phi the next time the want funding from our senate! Juuuuust kidding...I'm ethical...but I really don't want to be, lol!

Weeds:
The season finale of Weeds is this Monday, and I'm so sad! It's a great show, and the only dramatic cliff-hanger type of show I've ever bothered to follow. Greatstufftv.com lets me access it for free (because I'm too cheap to buy Showtime to watch it), and I'm hoping I can find another show to become addicted to!

Lucy:
This gorgeous little girl is almost crawling! She's doing this goofy rock/bounce thing on her knees, like she allllmost has it figured out. I'm so excited for her to learn something so important!

Love Life:
...still lame, haha!

School:
I have to be back in Frostburg by Jan 2 (so I'll arrive here New Year's Day, yuck!) for intercession. If I don't take a couple of classes during the winter break, I'll be cramming them in next semester, and who wants to do that?! So I will officially graduate May 17, 2008 at 2:00pm (I looked up the time). Ladies and gentlemen, watch out! This girl's on a mission to save the world and she's college educated! Just try and stop her!




I apologize for my terrible blogging skills lately, but school has been kicking my butt! Senior year was supposed to be a slack off year, but it certainly isn't. I'm going to work very hard at keeping up, especially now that Vagina Monologues rehearsals are beginning (the first one is tonight), and I'm sure I'll have a million hilarious stories from that. Anytime you get a group of girls together and make them discuss uncomfortable topics like vaginas, some great stories are bound to come out of that.

I love you all, and thanks to the person who commented to force me to blog again!

SuzzyQ-BabyILoveYou! (a tribute to Miss Sarah Amedoro, who always sings "baby, I love you" after saying my name)

Johari Window

I clicked on a link in my friend's buddy info on him AIM profile, and it took me to a Johari Window. It instructed me to chose 5-6 personality traits I thought best described him. After that, it showed me a window, combing my answer with those answers of other people who had filled it out for him, and also with his answers for himself. It created a grid, showing what trait he thought he had, which ones he knew about and that others agreed with, which ones he kept hidden from others, and which ones he didn't realize he had. It was so cool! So I'm going to put a link to it below, and then a link to the final product. No fair clicking on the grin one first, you need to fill it out! It only takes a minute or so, so do it! After you fill mine out, make one for yourself and post the link in a comment. :o)

Fill out my Johari Window

Then, see the results

P.S. I get to go HOME this weekend!!!!!

For Erin

Erin, here is your blog:

Here is a series of entertaining things that happened to me today:

1. This morning, after showering, I was flipping my hair over to spritz some curl definer in my hair. I misjudged how close I was to this wire rack thing I have in my room, and clocked myself in the head so hard that I fell over. I cried while laughing.

2. Jamerson, this kid I worked with at Freedom School text messaged me. I haven't heard from him since I fed him a very lame excuse to avoid going on a date (it wasn supposed to be friends going to get something to eat, then it got all creepy and date-ish, so I canceled last minute). My Social Policy class took about 15 minutes to discuss ways to blow him off without making it awkward in case we work together again next summer.

3. I got my Social Policy midterm back with a note that said, "Suzzy- your passion is wonderful, but calling someone a 'stupid, soulless asshole with no morals' isn't the style of writing that will be effective in policy analysis discussions, no matter how true it may be." HAHA, I love Kathy Powell

4. I was decorating the windows in the SGA office with window paint. The white one wouldn't work very well, so I gave it a squeeze. Perhaps it was a very firm squeeze. The spongy top came off, shooting white paint all over the window, Brandon's desk, and me. my jeans are white; very white.

5. A guy in my ballet class informed me that he was looking forward to the SGA mixer because he could dance with me and "rub up on that big ol' white girl booty." Hm. I'll keep you posted on my new creepster ballerina friend.


I'm now taking applications for a videographer. You must follow me around, constantly recording me on video. When something rediculous happens, I will send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos (or a similar competition), and I will split the winnings with you (80% / 20%, of course). Erin, I expect the application with a sample of your video recording work, as well as a 200-word essay entitled "100 Reasons Why I Love Suzzy and Want to Be Her," within the next 7-10 business days. You will be paid in Oreos. You'll like that....fatass. LOVE YOU!


-Suzerrific

Love? Think. Comment. Let's Dialogue.

I'm beginning this post without really knowing what it's about. I'm just in one of those write-about-something moods, I guess.

I'm nearly halfway through Jonathan Safran Foer's first book (he edited one before, but this is his first novel), Everything is Illuminated. You may have heard of the movie; if you haven't, rent it. I'd like to suggest the book to you, but no one seems to make time for fiction novels. I certainly do. In the book, there are a couple of quotes that I love:

"...and everything was held up as another small piece of proof that i can be this way, it doesn't have to be that way; if there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like diamond falling to a jeweler's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does (p. 82)."

and also:

"And when she said, Father, I love you, she was neither naive nor dishonest, but the opposite: she was wise and truthful enough to lie (p. 83)."

I am not sure why the first quote strikes me the way it does, but...it does. The second, however, is possibly the most painfully honest line in any book I have ever read. So often, we lie to people because we love them...or perhaps because we don't. Do we even know what love is? It's so complicated when we break it down (or build it up, or stack it sideways, or diagonally, or whichever way we create our notions of love). The entire relationship between the characters of that father and daughter (He is not biologically her father; he took her in right after she was born, when he was in his seventies, because her parents were killed in an accident. He never told her) was made up of a muddled notion of love. Love was never found between the two, but instead, they loved the idea of loving one another. Is that what love is? Are we all just really in love with loving others? It's something to think about. I'm not saying that love doesn't exist, but with what are we in love? Perhaps we are all just in love with love instead of people. This is not to sound callous; I am in no way saying I do not love my family and friends. I'm just thinking, and I hope I have inspired you to do the same.

From my unclear beginning, I think I'm satisfied with the finished post. I hope you are, too.

Comment. I know you read it, so leave me your thoughts.


- le suz

today's the day!

So...today's the day of my big exciting event! I can't talk about it on here, because I am learning I have far more readers than I thought, and some (one) of those readers can't know about my big exciting event! I will, however, post an update on how it went on Sunday or Monday.



SHEEEEEEEESH I'm stoked!!!!!!




Ugh, so those of you who know what it is, don't ruin it and call that person (obviously, for those of you who have that person's number).



By the way, I finally put in my new belly ring. I thought it would be horrible and painful, but it just slipped right in! I know it takes a about a year for navel piercings to heal, but I think my tension ring had these scratches in it that irritated the piercing. But it's super cute! It's silver with a little light green jewel at the top and a bigger one on the bottom. It's very classic, which is what I wanted. I hate those huge, dangly, bling bling bullcraps with Playboy bunnies and other stupid things hanging down to my crotch. They look trashy.

In other news, the old lady I bought my poncho from at the Burlington Apple Festival delivered it to my house yesterday. I paid her more than she asked (she custom made it for me, made me extra stuff, AND delivered it to my house within a week!), and she got this teary-eyed thank you look in her eyes. Holy cow, I love old people! She said she simply couldn't take it, so I told her to put it in the collection plate at church on Sunday (she looked like a church lady). She was so cute and gave me a big hug and told me she'd pray for me. It makes me want to hand out $20s to every old lady I see. The poncho's kinda nerdy, but with the right outfit, I could rock it. Right now, I just wear it around the house. I LOVE this thing; it's like a blanket that I don't have to hold around myself! Genius!

Mr roommate, Kelly, keeps coming in here to ask about citation in APA format. She's cracking me up. I really love doing that type of stuff. Aside from making people smile, editing is my favorite thing to do. I'm really good at it, and not many people are, I'm finding. I figured writing a paper was the easier thing in the world for everyone to do, but I guess it's a skill a lot of people haven't really honed. I love all things regarding language; I get excited about speech, fiction writing, professional writing, and especially ripping someone's paper apart with a red pen in my hand. It's a kind of thrill that I don't get from doing anything else. I'm glad I'll be able to help people (my first and greatest passion and love), while writing and editing all the time (my second greatest passion and love). I'll have to write and edit grants throughout my career, which is a valuable skill to have. A lot of organizations would pay pretty much anything to have a quality grant-writer on staff.

Ok, I think I'm going to shower, do my nails, and, weather-pending, straighten my hair. I'm going to have to look cute tonight (par-tay!), so I'll have to check to see the frizz factor before I devote 45 minutes to straightening my hair, only to have it wave back up the second I step outside.


Until next time, keep those spirits up and smiles on!



XOXO,

Suzanne Marie

* Ohio is Klassy *

Yes, Ohio is by far the klassiest of all the 47 states...oh...I mean 50.

Jesus Lord above, please grant me the patience to deal with those people who destroy every effort I have made in the past 4 years to convince non-buckeyes that Ohio is a great, with-it sort of place. None of that crazy, trashy, hillbilly type of crap.

Let me explain my frustration. I arrived home on a sunny and abnormally warm October day (today), and I discovered an email from my dear friend Laura entitled, "Ohio...". I was very excited until I opened the email and it said "is KLASSY!". Oh, dear. There was also a link to a news article describing the wedding of a Springfield couple who married in...WAL MART! Jeez, fellow Ohioans, can we please keep the weird weddings out of the news?

Here's a rundown of weddings in Ohio I have recently heard about:
1. walmart wedding
2. camo wedding, complete with a camouflage bride's dress
3. taxidermy wedding. yes. like dead, stuffed animals. squirrels and shit. wow.

I'm not telling people to marry in churches with linen tablecloths and white dresses. I'm just asking that these awkward, ridiculous, backwoods weddings remain lost to the rest of the nation except by an accidental Google images search. Ohio IS a pretty progressive, metropolitan place, I promise!

Please post thoughts, because I'm sure you have some.

School is Hard. The Weekend Will be Fun. Dating is LAME.

I got a 75% on my Social Policy outline. This is because 2 of the girls in my group are complete idiots. They're not your average "I left my purse on top of the car and drove away" types. They decided to NOT cite sources, which in college, is a death sentence for grades (and perhaps an expulsion form the school). I wanted to kick them in the shins. Because of their idiocy (and because of my time crunch to not be able to fix it before we turned it all in), we got a C. I am PEEVED!

My Human Resources Management test was great. I got a 92, and didn't study! Before you say, "sheesh, Suz, why didn't you study? That's awful," I left my notebook in another class over the weekend and didn't have anything to study from. In my opinion, if I don't have to study to get an A, why bother? I have a huge take-home midterm for Social Policy due Monday, and I'm terrified. I am soooo lost!

I will be in West Virginia Friday and Saturday for the Apple Festival. Laura is selling these super cute onesies and toddler tshirts (Click here for the website! ), and she has a booth at the festival. It's her first time selling beyond the website, so it's a big step. Go Laura! I've spent countless hours getting ready for this thing, so you can how hard poor Laura has been working on it.

Ok, so there was this handsome kid named Elliott in my Business Ethics class. He's all about saving the world and social equality and stuff. Hot. I was brave enough to suggest we have a coffee date, and he replies, "I'm kinda involved with someone right now." First, how can someone be KINDA involved? Second, dating is sooooo lame. It's really impossible, I've determined.

Here's my breakdown of the dating scene:
70% of guys are idiots, jerks, sluts, or some combination of those characteristics.
Of the remaining 30%, 20% are in a relationship and 5% are gay.
That leaves me just 5% of the male population in the proper age group who are even worth having a conversation with, let alone date. How can a girl be expected to sift through all the crap to find Mr. Right?

Screw it, I'm just focusing on what I need to focus on, and maybe I'll just search for Mr. Right NOW!

Social Policy is killing me. Anyone know anything about policy analysis?








Shoot
me
in
the
face.






Is it May yet?

IMPORTANT AMENDMENT

It is of utmost importance that I correct my favorite books comment.

My favorite FICTION novels are The Grapes of Wrath, followed by Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close



HOWEVER

The greatest book of all time is......................




Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss.



Oh my goodness, it's an amazing expression of my soul. I am obsessed. It's a grammar and punctuation book. *sigh* If I could meet Lynne Truss, I'd probably kiss her right on her British mouth; that;s how much I love her. Haha, really.



That is my only amendment, and I couldn't have just edited the post. It deserved its own post.


Sincerely,

The Suz

My Posts are Becoming Scattered and Boring. I'll Try to Fix It.

In Chemistry class today, we discussed light. Color doesn't exist in a dark room. Did you know that? To me, that's completely mind-blowing. Color only exists because light exists; therefore, take away light, and you take away color. I don't like knowing that when I go to bed at night, all the amazing colors that make up this world just don't exist. It seems to me that it's a bit like the ostrich with its head in the sand. Chemistry. Psh. Dumb.

Laura called today. She's back home in Havre de Grace (is that how you spell it?) because her sister just gave birth to Lilly Ann. Supposedly she incredibly adorable with curly black hair and little Asian eyes. I'm excited to see pictures. Although spending so much time with Lucy has seriously deterred me from wanting kids of my own within the next decade, I still think they are so freaking cute...in pictures...not crying...and not vomiting all over my nice jeans. Yuck. She'll be back next week, and I can't wait to see her again! I feel a bit incomplete when I can't walk to Mechanic Street for dinner and some Q.T. with the Cookes (watching Andrew play the Wii and shake his head at Laura and me as we gossip and giggle and Lu spits up all over me).

I called Grandma this morning. I slipped on the dewy grass on this hill to get to campus and face-planted. I slid alllllll the way down this hill, and got grass stains on my breakup jeans (the very expensive and very nice jeans that make my butt look great that I bought after the breakup: hence, my breakup jeans, haha). I called her in a tizzy asking what to do to keep it from setting in while I sat through classes until 3pm. She wasn't sure what to do except hope and make sure to pretreat when I got home with some OxyClean (I have none). At least the jeans are a really dark wash, so it's not that noticeable.

I need to start reading my new book (it's not so new anymore, I got it 2 weeks ago and haven't picked it up since). It's by the same author as new new second-favorite book (next to John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, of course), Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Jonathan Safran Foer is amazing. This new one is Everything is Illuminated, which was made into a movie a few years ago; you may have seen it. It's about a young Jewish man who collects memories of his family: dirt, photographs, watches, etc. He suspects that a woman in a photograph with his grandfather was the woman who saved him from being killed during the Holocaust. He goes back to the Ukraine, where his grandfather was from, and searches for the woman. It's really an amazing movie, but I've heard, like so many other book/movie combos, that the book is much better. I highly recommend Mr. Foer, so go pick up one of his books!

Ok, I'm off to do some homework.




-Suz the Great

Swallow Falls

Today my roommates, Star and Eric from the other side of our duplex, Star's mother and little brother, her mother's boyfriend, and Jenna from 2 doors down (she's Sean's, also from the other side of our duplex, girlfriend) went to Swallow Falls near Deep Creek. Whew, that's a lot of explaining for one group! I climbed all over the rocks, swam a little (more like waded in the 2 foot water), and lay in the waterfall. After we played for a while, we went to this place called Smiley's. It's like a backwoods crap version of Chuck E. Cheese, but with disgusting pizzas that cost twice as much as anywhere else. I played a ton of skeeball and tried the batting cages. I am not a baseball player. The ball was pitched so that a 6-year old could knock it out of the park, but I still couldn't quite get enough force behind it. Good thing I have a sense of humor. I just shook my booty everywhere and looked as ridiculous as possible to try to make the people behind me laugh a little.

Warren visited for a few minutes today, and it was positively delightful. I miss him sooooo much! Graduation sucks if I'm not the one doing it! He said I looked really happy and that he was proud of me. He's such a sugar dumplin'. He's coming back up for Homecoming, which is in just a couple of weeks, and said we'd make a date.

HA! For anyone who heard the Tom story (Andrew's friend he tried to set me up with): he wants to meet me again. Is this man a glutton for punishment? My loud and angry "how do you sleep at night?!" wasn't enough to scare him off? So weird... But yeah, he wants to meet again, and I don't think it's wise. He can't explain the ethics of his job to me, and I can't ever waste my time with someone who has flexible ethics because the paycheck pacifies those icky "I'm a bad person" feelings. Yuck.

I am officially on a diet. Laura and I are working at it together, and we're going to lose 25 pounds by December 15. I have no clue why December 15, but she chose the date, haha. No more sweets, no more excessive alcohol, and no more cream-based soups (which is my big calorie killer). We are going to be walking nearly every night (Sundays off!), and hopefully I'll get my chubby little behind back in shape! When Ivan and I broke up, I sort of gave myself a strict therapy regimen of Chardonnay and Totino's frozen pizzas (Jacquie: Thanks for constantly weighing 110 pounds and letting me gain it all, despite alllllways splitting the bottles and pizzas with me! You're the best! Ugh...) So, hopefully I can get back to a normal size...or at least a pre-breakup size!

My sorority, the great and wonderful Kappa Delta, got 10 new girls this fall! Word on the street is, I might have a new Triplet and/or a new Niece! That's exciting! Our family, which Lindsey (my Big) and I once thought was just we two, is now growing so quickly! I love Katie (my Twin), and I can't wait for our family to add even more amazing KD ladies!

Ok, that's all for now. Mom called me today and said she read the blog, so it's giving me hope that at least someone is still reading.

Love you all!


Suz

Random Updates of My Life Happenings

So Warren gets here on Friday, and I haven't seen him since last Spring. We were on staff together last year for the RA thing, and became the very closest of friends. I am sooooo excited to see him again, even if he's only staying in the burg for a few hours. His goddaughter's 1st birthday party is Saturday afternoon, so I understand that that's more important.

School is going pretty well. My Social Policy class is really challenging and a lot of work, but it's the most relevant course I've had so far to what I want to be when I grow up and jump into the big girl world. We have this semester-long project (GAG!) analyzing a current social policy, and I chose S-CHIP, which is State Children's Health Insurance Program. We lobbied in Columbus this summer with Freedom School, and I really believe in the policy. Google it. I has been in place for the last 10 years, and expires September 30. It's a huge deal! It provides health insurance for children whose families are above the poverty line (kids below qualify for Medicaid) up to 300% above, but whose families still can't afford health insurance on their own. S-CHIP is the cement that fills the crack that kids keep falling through. Anyway, I'm very excited because I (along with 4 other people I recruited to do the project with me) are analyzing a very relevant policy about which I am very passionate. That makes for some mighty good learnin'!

SGA is kiiiiiiilling me! The Student Affairs Chair before me left me nothing to figure out what and how the hell I'm supposed to do anything. I just found out that I have to plan a mixer (dance type thing) for Homecoming. I need to turn in the risk management form 3 weeks ahead (it's 4 weeks away), and I have to meet with 3 different and very busy people before I can turn it in! AHHHHH! I am putting together a VERY detailed binder for my successor. This is such crap and I won't do it to the next person just because it takes a little more time and effort.

Little Lu and I are very best friends. She's huge now, and just yaps all the time. It's all incomprehensible, but she sure has a lot to say. Everytime she sees me, she gets a huge grin on her face. Well, I get a huge grin when I see her, too. We're in looooove, haha. She also has this very strange reaction to me: she spits up if I even touch her. At first, I thought it was a cute accident. Then, it came to the point where I'd touch her arm and BBBLLLEEEHHHH all over. I started bringing a jacket everytime I visited. I think it has slowed down now, but for a while, I thought, Jeez, I wonder if I have this effect on everyone. Haha.

I'm excited to graduate! Ugh, I'm starting to get Senioritis. My mantra is quickly becoming "C's get degrees," which is awful....but very true. GPA matters in high school. It SEEMS to matter in college. Then...you realize it's a VERY small 3 numbers on a resume that is greatly outshined by everything else down the page. Ah, well. I will still succeed and keep high goals in my mind. I'll just be happy with the B instead of the A this year!

Ok, leave comments and love.

The Return

I am back at Frostburg. Let's procede with the updates:

SCHOOL: I am a senior (hopefully graduating on time). I am no longer a resident assistant, but have been appointed to the Student Affairs Chair position in Student Government Association. I live off-campus with 3 great girls, Carolyn, Kelly, and Jessie. I love them to death.

PERSONAL: Ivan and I broke up. I don't want to talk about it, so don't say anything. That's about it for that.

SUMMER: I worked with a shcolastic summer program called Freedom Schools. Google it. It was life-changing. I really hope they hire me again next summer before I start whatever big girl job I may have. I miss my baby-children terribly and can't wait to see them again next year!

This is a short post, but I will stay updated regularly now that I have internet and am back at school. Leave comments and show the love!

Rate Your Students and My Personal Rant

I have recently stumbled upon another blog, Rate Your Students. It is a blog which serves as a bitchfest of sorts for disgruntled professors. It speaks of the frustrations of the educational bureaucracy, lazy students, and the true lack of adequate pay. I am in love. I also can't stand the b.s. that is the U.S. educational system. I am also driven to complete insanity by the kid in the back who not only doesn't read or study, but spends the first half hour of the class time I am paying a bajillion dollars for screaming about how he didn't deserve the failing grade he earned on the last exam. Really? You didn't deserve that? Oh, yes. I studied and earned an A...so did the girl next to me. Hm, it seems that most people here have As or Bs. The test was easy, kid, I'm sorry the scantron machine must have broken riiiight as your scantron sheet went through. I can stand these awful drains on Mommy and Daddy's checking account about as much as a full force kick in the teeth by non other than the great Chuck Norris. I will now present a bulleted list for those people who drive me crazy.

ATTENTION WASTES OF SPACE:

• Suck it up, you're in college. High school is required by law until you turn 16, so it can't be too hard. College is a CHOICE! It is supposed to be difficult! You are not forced to be here, so if you don't like it, get the hell out and stop giving me (a sort of joke as it may be) competition in the job market. You are devaluing that little piece of paper I get when I cross the stage. A bachelor's degree used to mean something; now it's the new high school diploma because you and your waste-of-space counterparts made a few jokes throughout the semester to befriend the teacher, and s/he feels bad failing "such a nice boy." You're not nice, you're a manipulative asshole who will continue to be a manipulative asshole the rest of your days. I hate you a lot, and I strongly feel that you should pay for my master's degree since your laziness has so devalued my bachelor's degree. Ass.
  
• "But this isn't a writing class" is NOT an excuse for incomprihensible writing. Grammar and punctuation are integral parts of the English language, and you are not above the rules of the language you have chosen to communicate with. I'd suggest you find another language to try, but I don't want to plague another language with your idiocy.
• If it is answered on the syllabus or on the paper right in front of your face, do NOT ask the question.
• Do not disagree with everything the professor the or the reading says. It doesn't make you look smart; it wastes classtime. You can't formulate an educated opinion, and everyone stares at you with the "shut up" look, so please...shut up.
  
• Don't ask me to edit your paper at 11pm the night before it is due. It's just plain rude. First, I have to fix all the punctuation and grammar mistakes. Then I need a newly printed copy with corrections made; I can't read a paper with so much red covering the words. I then have to decipher the steaming pile of crap you smeared on a Word document to find some sort of intelligent and coherant thought. From that glimmer of hope, I have to rebuild your entire paper. That's a few hours of work, and yes, you do owe me a gigantic favor or $20. Look, kid, you were going to fail...not kinda fail...REALLY fail. I brought your grade up to a C, and it's the best you can hope for. You didn't use an outline, you quoted whole paragraphs to fill up space, and you completely avoided all creativity and critical thinking or analysis. It's common curtosy to slip that "paper" under my door by 6pm; I'll have a long night ahead of me.
• Feel free to make fun of me for getting As. I work my cute little ass off for them, and when it comes to graduation, I'll be looking like a freaking Christmas tree because I'll have so many cords and medals to visually say to you "Ha! I worked harder, and employers are lining up to hire someone who knows that staying up late to finish a 10-page paper is way more rewarding that staying up late to see if I can do a 15-seconds keg stand. Don't get me wrong, it's not about partying; I can do that pretty well, too. It's about priorities, and I'm sorry you are spending four years here and missing that whole "adulthood" thing.

Ok, a little harsh, but the Rate Your Students blog really put me in the mood to complain about this I personally can't stand. Anyway, read the blog, you'll love it! Hey, Ma, at least you know you're making an investment!

*Sigh* I Have Survived

Life is settling down, and it hasn't come a moment too soon. Most of the residents are gone, with the exception of the graduates who will be out of here by saturday afternoon. I actually got to sleep in this morning, then go to the mall with Laura and Lu. I got to play the snuggly aunt and tote her around to all the stores. I love carrying cute babies around; everyone gets jealous because they can't snuggle such an adorable little creature. Again, I felt the incredible power of making a child stop crying and fall asleep. It was amazing. I bought a very cute summer dress and tube top that actually fit! They were both on sale, and I got to use the $30 from book buyback that was burning a hole in my pocket. Book buyback is always used for end-of-the-year fun money. I work my buns off all semester long to earn the right to spend those few dollars on something entirely selfish and fun. No practical spending allowed! I figure I'm very good with finances, and almost always spend wisely, so I can afford to splurge a little at the end.

My boss from my summer job called yesterday to tell me my first day is on Tuesday at 10am. I get to sleep in on my first day of work! Nice! It's basically just to get a lot of paperwork finished, get fingerprinted, and get some last minute details together before training.

I need to clean my room today. This semester has been absolutely insane, and I don't think it's been clean but maybe a total of 2 weeks this entire time. I know I'll leave it until tomorrow, but I'm a step closer by just committing it to the to-do list.

I can't wait until next year! I'm taking Chemistry and Society, and that should be difficult but fun. I'm also taking some of the random elective I need to get out of here. I have worked very hard for my requirements, and now I have room to play. I'm taking Jewelry Making, Intro to Acting, and Ballet I. I have no experience with jewelry making or ballet, but I know they'll be fun. I'm most excited about the only spring semester class I've already decided on: Editing and Production. It's a class entirely comprised of editing writing and learning the absolutly newest grammar and punctuation rules. It's nerdy, but it's kinda my thaaaang. :o)

This semester was awful; personally, professionally, and scholastically, my life fell apart. I am proud of the way I've handled it with grace and a usually calm demeanor. Some would disagree, but I think that I kept my head quite well most times. I miss my dad, I still can't stand my supervisor, and my cumulative GPA fell faster than a man in a barrel over Niagra Falls; however, I have one more guardian angel, I have learned how to keep my mouth shut when I need to, and I still have a shot at graduating with honors. I have learned so much this semester. I have become so much stronger. I have grown up. When did that happen? I am coming into the point in my life when I almost always refer to myself as a "woman." I am now becoming very comfortable with being a woman. I'm comfortable with my wide hips, my bad hair days, my checkbook balancing skills, my handle on my credit score (which is very good!), and the various other things that come with being an adult female. It's a rather intimidating process, and I have many scarier things ahead, as I have learned through Laura's whole baby thing...that is just...nuts.

Ok, I've yammered on enough. I'm going to open up my window wide and sing some Joni Mitchell at the top of my lungs. No residents are here to tell me to shut up!

As always, thanks for reading, and don't forget to comment!

-The Suz

Babies...I Quite Like Them

I hung out with Laura-Love, Boss-Man, and Little Lucy Goose this evening. Important things first:

She pooped on me.

Projectile poop.

She was completely adorable the whole time, and kept giving me half smiles as she shot out brown liquid from her tiny little butt. Sheesh. God made babies cute because they're disgusting. Grown-ups would never care for them if they weren't so warm and snuggly.

Andrew finally emailed me pictures of me and LuGirl. They're awesome. I'm still trying to figure out how to post picture within a post, but I'll ask Laura about it later. I love to hold her. I made her fall asleep today, and swaddled the crap outta her. Laura says I'm a champion swaddler. Holding babies and making them not cry makes me feel more feminine, as if I'm using a talent or skill that was instilled in me at birth.

I'm glad I'm so close to Lucy. I never got to be very close to Chanler of Chalsie, my youngest nephew and niece. I wish I had been able to build a close relationship with them, but college and silly family spats has made that difficult--impossible, rather. I'm taking out all my pent up love, attention, and money on Lucy.

Yeah, I've dropped fat cash on this kid...she's so spoiled by Aunt Suz.

I'm excited for my friends to start having babies. It's fun! I'm not personally ready for such a life altering gift from God, but snuggling other people's life altering gifts is wonderful!

On another note, I feel MUCH better! I think I was at the brink of death with my illness, but after a very personal ER visit with a burly Russian doctor and a bottle of Percocet, I'm feeling dandy. In my self-soothing, I drank all my yummy organic chocolate milk and pineapple juice, and now I'm out of tasty beverages. I may treat myself to a Mountain Dew tonight before bed.

In my Percocet haze, I missed my Econ exam. I thought it was Friday, and the professor thought it was Thursday. Oops. He's letting me make it up on Monday (Good Lord bless him!). The report that was due in business writing was late. My professor emailed me asking where it was after it was due and not in her inbox. I explained my near death illness and she gave me a 2-day extention. It was a steaming pile of crap in a Word document. She gave me a 69% on it, the lowest grade possible to give me a 79.6% in the class, rounding up to a B. She's forgiving, I certainly deserved less.

I keep wanting to beat myself up over this semester, but I am so proud of myself. My grades...are frighteningly terrible; however, after the death of two of the greatest men in my life, a terrible illness during finals week, a semester-long battle with a terrible boss with no soul, and the most difficult class schedule of my college career, I'm proud that I have come out on the other end, a little stronger. My room's a mess, my GPA's a little shaken, and I feel like a small piece of me has been torn away these past few months, but I have survived it all. I have started a blog and kept it relatively current, so this is one good thing that has come out of this semester. My relationship with Ivani is stronger than ever. I have a beautiful new niece who smiles at only a week or so old (she's a baby genius, I'm convinced). I have amazing friends. I turn 21 very soon! Life isn't so bad. If, after everything crappy that has happened, I can say nothing else, I can say this: I haven't lost site of the beauty God puts in front of my face every single day, and I take the time to say, "God, you freaking rock" every single day.

I think that's a nice place to end.

God, you freaking rock...and so do you, readers!

Nonprofit sector yields many jobs - News

Despite how poorly written and obviously unedited this college newpaper article is, it proves a great point-I am more likely to have a job than you. :o) It states that the nonprofit sector is growing much faster than the for-profit sector, and there is a 60% increase in demand over supply of trined nonprofit managers because all the old hippies are retiring, leaving room for us young folks to take over. HA!

Nonprofit sector yields many jobs - News

Pray

I just got a phone call from one of my very good friends back home. He told me that our friend from high school is one of the kidnapped soldiers in Iraq. He's MIA. I'm terrified. I can't comprehend what he's dealing with, and I feel very powerless. All I can do is pray. You should pray, too. This is a short blog, but that's all I need to say right now. That, and the fact that I'm feeling much better thanks to Andrew the superhero driving me to the ER last night and the crazy Russian doctor giving me a prescription for Percoset. I'm sleeping, finally, and I'm eating a little, too. Thanks for your prayers about that.

Stay safe, guys.

I am ill

The fun of the Cedar Point trip is now showing its angry flip side. The windy, cold weather has caused an illness, the likes of which I haven't seen in months. My stomach is quite angry. All I want is some plum juice and ginger ale. They are my feel-better beverages. Warren said he would go to Food Lion and get me some at 10:30 when he takes a break from his paper. I've been napping all day, so I think I'll still be up by then.

Ivan went home after Cedar Point (he lives only 40 minutes from the park). I miss him! He was such a sweetie and left two cans of ravioli and some mac and cheese.

I just got distracted by a show on TLC called "Celebrating the American Woman." The first woman it profiled was a dairy farmer. I'd love to be a dairy farmer. I wonder sometimes how some people say that they can only be happy doing one specific thing with their lives. I would be happy as a clam to be a stay-at-home mom, dairy farmer, medical researcher, woodworker, teacher, hut builder, or anything else. Being the executive director of a nonprofit which promotes social justice and a healthy, happy world is simply what I have chosen to do. I think it will make me the happiest. I think it best utilizes the gifts and passions God has instilled in me. I really believe that with enough hard work and desire, I could be a successful anything.

I do not like when people say that hard work will get anyone anywhere and allow them to become anything. It's just not true. It's a self-soothing excuse of people who are successful to not help those who are not. "If homeless people worked hard enough, they'd find a place to live." "Study hard thoughout school, and you'll get into college and get a good job." It's just not always true. Very good people sometimes fall into very bad situations. Mental illness and substance abuse are not the leading causes of homelessness, despite popular middle- and upper-class belief. Shockingly, it is the lack of housing...WOW! Who knew? Ok, that's a little preachy, but I get so frustrated when I tell people about my career ambitions and they give me that tilted head with the slight smile. Their faces scream, "Oh, honey, that's so sweet. You're very naive, but that's a nice thought until you find out about the real world and get a real job as an accountant." GGGAAAAHHHH! I promise my job is real. Many people have the same job, they make very good money, and *gasp* my silly save-the-world career is even listed in the Occupational Outlook Handbook from the Bureau of Labor and Statistics.

Oh, sheesh, that frustration got out of hand. I'm going to call Warren to get me some juice, watch this neat TLC show, and fall asleep. Tomorrow and Tuesday are the last day of classes, and finals start Thursday. I have a HUGE project due next week that was supposed to take me 3 months...I haven't started researching yet. Oops. I'll do well. Until next time, loyal readers (do I dilute myself into thinking anyone actually reads this? Comment people, it makes the Suz feel loved!), I leave you with thoughts and prayers and virtual hugs.

Happy Day

I am in a very good mood. I'm singing songs very loudly, I made new random friends walking back from my econ exam, and I get to go climb rocks with my hottie boyfriend all day before having pizza with the Cookes & company.

I go to Cedar Point tomorrow with several of my favorite people God put on this Earth. I love roller coasters, and I bought very cute pair of shorts yesterday, so I'm set for a day of fun!

I registered for national training for Freedom Schools, my summer job, yesterday. I'm very excited, but I'll be in Tennessee on substance lockdown for my 21st birthday! Gah! Oh well, I'm sure I'll have a superb night of drunken debauchery on June 11th when I return. All are invited to watch me drink myself to the brink of hospitalization! I told my mom I want a fun girls night of wine drinking and boy bashing with her, Jacquie, and any other female family members who would like to come.

On that same note, I have a pretty rockin' family! As far as family goes, I think I definitely won the genetic lottery. I am indeed partial to my Aunt Laura because we are so much alike. I am still sure that my cousin Stephanie and I were switch at birth...although she is a few years older. I think I'll email the fam and tell them how to access this blog so they can read for themselves how great they are.

Ok, more on how much my friends and family absolutely rock later. Ivani is very hungry, and for some reason rather excited to eat caf food. Ew. I'll blog soon!

Baby Lucy Goose

So, my darling little Lucers came today. After 38 hours of labor, three fights with the vacuum, and an emergency c-section, the little girl decided that the outside world might not be so bad after all. I held her today, and I kept staring at her and back at Laura's stomach. I don't get it. I can't make the connection between that wiggly lump inside Laura that we painted for Easter and this also very wiggly little creature in my arms. I just can't picture her back in there.

Babies are also very wet looking. Her eyes looked like the baby alien's eyes that Will Smith delivered in Men in Black. Babies are hot. They are very hot, actually; not sexy hot, temperature hot. I kept having to switch arms because she was making my forearms sweat. Do forearms even sweat? Perhaps not, but mine felt very clammy.

Anyway, I like her a lot, and I think I will take a fun board game to the hospital tomorrow to play with the Laura. She is very bored, and needs to kick someone's ass in Scrabble very badly. Scatergories might work, too.

Ivan wanted to be mentioned, so here it is:

Ivan looked cute while holding Lucy today. He also gave me part of his gigantic steak when I ate all of my tiny, but delicious, steak and was still hungry. He told me I was too smart for my own good when I figured out the entire plot of The Illusionist very early on. He has decided to scrape up the money to come to Cedar Point with me and my very awesome friends Saturday. In conclusion, I rather like him. I denied him popcorn after he gobbled down a can of ravioli. I feel bad, and he got very cranky. *sigh* I guess I should let him have it, even though I hold firm that he is not hungry, but simply has the midnight munchies.

Thanks, loyal readers...*sigh*...reader (Erin). I love you bunches.

Waiting...

I'ts 9:22am, and I have woken up every half hour since 6:00am, waiting for Little Lucy Girl to be born. I really thought birth was like the movies: a big dramatic water break, followed by a quick dramatic labor and birth. I thought babies just sort of shot out. Turns out the water is almost always broken by the doctor at the hospital, and the process of having a child takes hours. It doesn't even take three or four hours. We're talking hhhoooouuuurrrrsss. This pregnancy thing is a serious time commitment!

I'm very proud of myself for blogging two days in a row. This might be some sort of record.

On another note, Ivan is sleeping like a baby (more like a baby after a bottle of sleeping pills; this lump won't get up). All I want is for him to wake up and entertain me until I get the text message to come play with my new niece! I'm antsy, and he can usually distract me from whatever I'm obsessing over. Maybe I'll clumsily fall back into bed and turn the food network on. No one can resist a good episode of Iron Chef or Good Eats.

Oh! That reminds me that we get to go to the Chinese buffet today! We have just a little bit of money to spend when we're together, so we like to go there. It's like $6.00 for lunch, and you get free pop (soda for all you East Coasters) if you flash your student ID! I love the perks of being in college.

Ok, so I'm going to try to wake him up again, and I'll let you know how Lucy Goose turns out!

Figuring it All Out

I've decided to start a blog. I read Laura-Love's religiously, and sometimes I think I should have a place where people can keep up with me. I'm terrible at writing letters, phone calls are sporatic at best, and I get so wrapped up in my datebook that I completely forget that a world exists outside of good ol' Frostburg.

So now I'm going to try my very best to keep up with a blog (which will also probably be rather sporatic). I will be no Laura Cooke, mind you, but I will stop and post when I can. I don't promise fun stories, but I do promise that I will see the humor in life. I don't promise terribly interesting stories, either, but I do promise to make the not-so-intresting updates as interesting as possible.

Sometimes I will make no sense. Sometimes I will make a lot of sense. Sometimes I will ramble on and on (you have my permission to stop reading in those cases), and sometimes a post will be just one sentence. Either way, I hope I keep up with this, and...


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