Rate Your Students and My Personal Rant

I have recently stumbled upon another blog, Rate Your Students. It is a blog which serves as a bitchfest of sorts for disgruntled professors. It speaks of the frustrations of the educational bureaucracy, lazy students, and the true lack of adequate pay. I am in love. I also can't stand the b.s. that is the U.S. educational system. I am also driven to complete insanity by the kid in the back who not only doesn't read or study, but spends the first half hour of the class time I am paying a bajillion dollars for screaming about how he didn't deserve the failing grade he earned on the last exam. Really? You didn't deserve that? Oh, yes. I studied and earned an A...so did the girl next to me. Hm, it seems that most people here have As or Bs. The test was easy, kid, I'm sorry the scantron machine must have broken riiiight as your scantron sheet went through. I can stand these awful drains on Mommy and Daddy's checking account about as much as a full force kick in the teeth by non other than the great Chuck Norris. I will now present a bulleted list for those people who drive me crazy.

ATTENTION WASTES OF SPACE:

• Suck it up, you're in college. High school is required by law until you turn 16, so it can't be too hard. College is a CHOICE! It is supposed to be difficult! You are not forced to be here, so if you don't like it, get the hell out and stop giving me (a sort of joke as it may be) competition in the job market. You are devaluing that little piece of paper I get when I cross the stage. A bachelor's degree used to mean something; now it's the new high school diploma because you and your waste-of-space counterparts made a few jokes throughout the semester to befriend the teacher, and s/he feels bad failing "such a nice boy." You're not nice, you're a manipulative asshole who will continue to be a manipulative asshole the rest of your days. I hate you a lot, and I strongly feel that you should pay for my master's degree since your laziness has so devalued my bachelor's degree. Ass.
  
• "But this isn't a writing class" is NOT an excuse for incomprihensible writing. Grammar and punctuation are integral parts of the English language, and you are not above the rules of the language you have chosen to communicate with. I'd suggest you find another language to try, but I don't want to plague another language with your idiocy.
• If it is answered on the syllabus or on the paper right in front of your face, do NOT ask the question.
• Do not disagree with everything the professor the or the reading says. It doesn't make you look smart; it wastes classtime. You can't formulate an educated opinion, and everyone stares at you with the "shut up" look, so please...shut up.
  
• Don't ask me to edit your paper at 11pm the night before it is due. It's just plain rude. First, I have to fix all the punctuation and grammar mistakes. Then I need a newly printed copy with corrections made; I can't read a paper with so much red covering the words. I then have to decipher the steaming pile of crap you smeared on a Word document to find some sort of intelligent and coherant thought. From that glimmer of hope, I have to rebuild your entire paper. That's a few hours of work, and yes, you do owe me a gigantic favor or $20. Look, kid, you were going to fail...not kinda fail...REALLY fail. I brought your grade up to a C, and it's the best you can hope for. You didn't use an outline, you quoted whole paragraphs to fill up space, and you completely avoided all creativity and critical thinking or analysis. It's common curtosy to slip that "paper" under my door by 6pm; I'll have a long night ahead of me.
• Feel free to make fun of me for getting As. I work my cute little ass off for them, and when it comes to graduation, I'll be looking like a freaking Christmas tree because I'll have so many cords and medals to visually say to you "Ha! I worked harder, and employers are lining up to hire someone who knows that staying up late to finish a 10-page paper is way more rewarding that staying up late to see if I can do a 15-seconds keg stand. Don't get me wrong, it's not about partying; I can do that pretty well, too. It's about priorities, and I'm sorry you are spending four years here and missing that whole "adulthood" thing.

Ok, a little harsh, but the Rate Your Students blog really put me in the mood to complain about this I personally can't stand. Anyway, read the blog, you'll love it! Hey, Ma, at least you know you're making an investment!