I attended Take Back the Night last night. It is a worldwide event that began in the 1800s as a way for women (and men) to stand up and say that they will not tolerate violence and that they will not live in a world that forces them to be afraid at night, especially of sexual violence. It's amazing, really.
An open mic night was held after the march across campus. One young woman read a piece of prose she wrote about the realness and strength of women. Considering the V-day movement is mostly about sexual violence, I decided to read a piece of prose I wrote about my past that really encapsulated my feelings. It was called "I Am a Healthy, Well-Adjusted Adult," and it was about my survival and not letting my past define me or hold me back. I introduced myself and told my story; it was the first time I had told it publicly. I said that my talking about it was important because victims of insect often feel ashamed, just as I still do many times, but it is so common that it needs to be discussed.
I began crying as soon as I looked at the audience, but I kept going. I was terrified, but I kept talking. I thought I was going to throw up and die, but I kept reading. It was probably the scariest thing I've ever done in my life...but I kept going. I looked out at the audience when I gathered enough courage to see the horrified faces, but I didn't see that at all. I saw strangers and friends crying with me. I saw my professors crying; that was strange. I cried and they cried. We were all getting through it together, and I had a line of hugs when I finished. It was a healing experience I never thought I needed. I am so proud of myself, and so many other people told me they were proud of me, too. A man gave the V-Day girls an extra $5 for a donation to the Family Crisis Resource Center (the center to which all the proceeds of V-Day and the Vagina Monologues went) because he could finally put a real face to a real problem. It was a phenomenal experience, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. I thank God for giving me that strength I didn't think I had in me. I wish you could have been there.
Love,
Suz
2 comments:
I wish I could have been there with you. I cried when I read this; not only for your tears that you cried but for the love I have for you and the pride I have in you. I have raised a very wonderful, brave and beautiful daughter. I have worked very hard not to feel the guilt I once felt for what happened but I know that there was nothing I could have actually done and that I have done my best to help you be a healthy young woman. I love you and am so proud of you. By the way, I loved your performance last weekend! It was probably your best performance yet. I wish your HS teachers could have seen it. Mrs. Fisher would have been proud!
I love you, Mom
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