I Think I'm Pretty Interesting

DAY 2

2011-03-10T21:25:00.003-05:00

I will have a photo to add by the end of the weekend. I'm just too tired to upload photos right now.

Why the world is beautiful today:

Reunited love.

My dear friend, Heather, and her husband, Mike, were reunited after a few months of his deployment in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, he's only home for a couple of weeks. Heather is a special sort of lady (we're very similar, if that makes "special" any clearer, haha), and Mike is her prefect complement. It's so fabulous to see them together again!

These Forty Days

2011-03-09T08:03:00.002-05:00

Hello, readers!

Ok, I've promised to blog consistently, well, since I've had a blog. I have also failed every single time.

While considering how miserable I'd be giving up meat for Lent, rationalizing just giving up land animals, blah blah blah, I realized that sacrificing is lame. I generally have an ulterior motive of something very selfish (e.g. weight loss). Was Jesus selfish? Nah, he was nailed to a giant piece of freakin' wood so I wouldn't spend forever in a fiery world playing poker with Hitler. So why should I make my Lent all about me?

Conclusion: For every day of Lent, I will document one beautiful thing in the world that makes me happy. I'm going to try to add a picture for each one, too. That part will begin tomorrow.

DRRRRRUMROLLLLL

Today, March 9, 2011, Ash Wednesday:

ashes on strangers' foreheads

I love to see ashes on other people's foreheads. It's wonderful to share a knowing smile that we love the same God, share the same traditions of celebrating our faith, and enjoy the same sideways looks from non-Catholics that always say, "um, there's some stuff on your face."

Happy Lent, folks!

late night post

2010-01-16T03:34:00.003-05:00

I thought I'd post a nice blog after a wonderful night with friends. It was Kathy's birthday, and we had a fabulous fiesta with fajitas and all the fixin's (except guacamole, which is a sore subject--I will never buy organic avacados again). On to the real post:

I have thought a lot about marriage lately (please be prepared for a very honest post). The only successful marriage i know well is the Cookes. I spent a week with them last week. They VERY graciously flew me down for a week, and I had the time of me life. I was pleased to see they were still the happy, goofy-in-love couple I remembered, but it made me a little sad. I am a bitter, jaded, anti-marriage woman at 23 years old. I'm sure many of you would laugh and say this is a phase, but I'm convinced it's very justified. The only really positive example of what a loving, happy, FUNCTIONAL relationship I have is the Cookes. I don't mean to put them on the spot, and I certainly don't mean to discount anyone else's relationship, but when I think of the marriage I want, Laura and Andrew come to mind. They're SO different. I'm SO much like Laura. They give me the slightest amount of hope that I won't be the crazy cat lady with 12 adopted children. If you're a reader I don't know about (or one I do) that has a happy marriage, please tell me your tips. I can't even commit to trying a new brand of whole wheat pasta (I'm loyal to Ronzoni), let alone commit to dating someone for more than two weeks.

Dear readers, if you're in a less-than-happy marriage, I'm praying for you; however, if you're in a marriage that makes you thank God every day, please let me know. I'm in need of some positive stories right now. "Mr. Right" is a silly idea to me, so some practical advice/words or encouragement are needed more than fairy tale promises.

If 5th Graders Had My Job

2009-10-29T22:42:00.002-04:00

As the final portion of my internship, I have the task of choosing ten outstanding and creative essays (or, as one little girl called them, "S.A."s) from the 5th graders in Monroe County. Their prompt was: "How would you end hunger & homelessness?"

LORD

they are cute.

and weird.

In many of the essays, the parents' political persuasions are pretty obvious. In others, I can tell that one proud kid annouced, a bit too loudly, his/her perfect idea, which was then repeated in ten other essays. Little shits. Many of the essays are just repeats of the same few ideas, but I thought I'd share some of the gems I've found so far:

have a charitable "festibal," featuring a show of volunteers with "wacky talents," and give all of the proceeds to the homeless to go to college for at least two, but no more than four, years. With this education, they could get jobs that pay "proximy [approximately] $15-$25/hour. That's over $100/day!"
have a charitable marathon (the marathon for cancer research, a huge event in Bloomington, was the week before they wrote the essays)
make the homeless and hungry wear identifying tshirts so people would know who to help (reminiscent of Nazi Germany, but maybe they haven't covered that in History class yet...)
a little socialist after my own heart wants to make huge charitable donations (to the hungry, homeless, and poor ONLY) mandatory for millionaires (remember the parents' political persuasion thing?).
make signs that say "end homelessness" and "feed the hungry"
make tshirts that say "end homelessness" and "feed the hungry"
make tshirts with turkeys on the front that say "feed the hungry"
make tshirts that say "will eat for food" (???)
create a caveman-like society for the homeless and hungry so they can "work together to hunt, fish, and search for fruit[s] and vegetables."
hire experienced, professional survival specialists to help said society
migrate said societies in cold states to "sunshine states" in the winter (ok kid, turn the tv off. you've had enough Bear Grylls for a lifetime.)
give every veteran $100 because they served our country and deserve a fresh start (remember the parents' political persuasion thing again?)
every sale imaginable: lemonade, bake, garage, car wash, used clothes "that aren't all tore up for the homeless to wear"
collect food for people who "have to live on the streets or have to live in boxes."
give the hungry food so "they can be happy and not look grose [gross] because you can see their rib cage."
"if you have any scraps left over, you can put it in a container and give it to the homeless." The table scraps idea was pretty popular.
put the homeless in nursing homes
stop firing people from their jobs
give a stimulus package to hungry and homeless people (why are you watching CNN, little girl? Watch some freakin' cartoons!)
have teachers and college students tutor the homeless (it should be noted that this young boy's explanation of the cause of homelessness was when parents are uneducated and fight, then th mother moves in with her parents, then the grandparents can't handle the kids in the house anymore and kick them out--bam. homelessness. experience speaking?)
install solar panels for heating and air conditioning on metal shipping crates and let the homeless live in them. Arrange the shipping crates in a circular neighborhood with a community garden in the middle. (How freaking adorable--and weird.)
collect canned goods for the hungry, recycle the empty cans of food, then give the money to the homeless.

Ok, these kids are a complete riot. I can't say I've found more than five solid, unique ideas, but the idea of the essay was to get the kids thinking about the issues.

I did discover one very important thing through reading these essays:

MY CHILDREN WILL NOT GO TO PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

The composition, grammar, and punctuation is so atrocious that I feel nauseated. I will speak no further on the matter. HOMESCHOOOOOOL

I hope you enjoyed these little dears' ideas as much as I did!

Sitting in Class

2009-10-01T13:41:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting in class, learning NOTHING, and resisting the calculation of how much I'm paying per minute to blog through class. Piece of paper. Piece of paper. Piece of paper. Once I can add that additional line to my resume, some idiot will be willing to pay me several thousand dollar more each year. Grad school is an investment, right? Riiiight?

My professor keeps talking directly to me because I am one of the, hm, three people who ever comment or ask a question. He's a genuinely nice guy, but I think we're all SO sick of theory. We're going to graduate and have little more knowledge of how to run a nonprofit than when we did before we came to SPEA. That's freaking concerning.

On an entirely separate note, I've started a pretty solid gym routine, and my thighs HURT. I can't really move them inward or outward without a whimper. I'm hoping to combat the big scary weight gain that come with Depo. It already makes me an emotional freak (I cried during a cell phone commercial last night because they used picture messaging to find a little girl's puppy). I talked to the doctor about it, and she said, "oh, hunny, that's pretty much exactly what you'll be like when you're pregnant. It's the same amount of the same hormone--you better get used to it." Get used to it? Get used to it?! She better get used to a punch in the face. FIX ME, LADY! I feel bad for the poor schlub who knocks me up. God help that poor man.

My brother comes home from Iraq really soon! Mom drove up to NY to hang out with Steph and Anthony, and Doug will join them in a couple of weeks. Between Christmas and New Year, Doug, Steph, and my adorable, chubby-cheeked nephew are visiting Ohio! Many of you know that I haven't met little Anthony yet, so you can imagine how pumped I am! I am the aunt that smothers her babies in hugs and kisses and messy toys that annoy their parents. I can't wait to snuggle this little guy. I feel sorry for everyone else around, because I'm snatching my nephew up and never letting him go.

Oh, sweet Jesus, I still have 20 minutes left of class. Shoot me. I'm going to Facebook for a while and gchat with the rest of the people in the room. Oh, higher education.

I Have a Crush On My Job

2009-06-25T10:35:00.004-04:00

I love my internship. I have a big giant crush on the work we do. If it was an above average-looking, brown-haired man with ambitions and a strong love of family and God, I'd marry it.

My coworkers are hilarious, our residents are the sweetest kids God ever put on the planet, and I also spend my day laughing and playing. I spend a good portion of my day trying to look busy. I have my gmail up on another tab, and frequently click back to it and mutter things like, "Jesus, why haven't these people emailed me back?" and "Ugh, why does no one care about homeless youth?" Everyone knows I'm just faking it, mostly because they're faking it, too. It's a fun game we all play. Working in this business has a lot of down time and a lot of fast-paced get-your-shit-together time. It's an interesting balance. Working with these kids is a lot like parenting--screw all of you older folks who complain about teenagers all the damn time--I love them! They call contantly for silly reasons, have life-altering problems (like being late to a movie or running out of orange juice), and get into friendship-ending fights that are forgotten the next day. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to hang out with.

That's really all I had to say. Sometimes I just have to gush. :o)

Another Summer of Saving the World

2009-05-19T21:12:00.003-04:00

My internship freaking ROCKS. I think I should probably begin with that bit of information. I wear jeans and flip flops, we have a full kitchen, my coworkers are total riots, and part of my job is to just hang out with a bunch of teenagers. DANG. I can NEVER find a job like Freedom Schools, but I think this summer is going to be wonderful. I have already built a bit of rapport with a couple of the kids, and I spent an hour this morning just talking with one of them.

I have a BAD habit of vocalizing my critiques of grammar and punctuation, and I was doing it today. One of my coworkers very calmly said, "You know, Suzzy, that's a really long document, and although it may need a lot of work, you might want to be kind of careful about critiquing out loud in case someone's feelings are hurt." I realized I was a total jackass. I would never want to hurt someone, so I'm glad she pointed it out to me. She was very sweet, but got the point across. If that is an indication of how the organization is, I'm hooked.

On another note, I'M GETTING A CAR! It's no Ferrari, so don't get all excited that I'm going to visit you every weekend (those of you who live outside of Btown), but I can go Kroger any time I need groceries instead of waiting for a friend to need to go. I can also drive to work on rain days (I have discovered that I love taking the bus to work). A really importantpart of my job is being a useful resource for the kids, including driving them to appointments, job interviews, or just shopping. I am SOOOOO thankful to Aunt Laura and Uncle Don for giving me such an AMAZING gift (and Michael for giving up his old baby)! YOU ROCK and I LOVE YOU!

I have a ton of take-home work to do, so I'm going to wrap things up.

Until next time,

TA-TAAAAA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUCY!

2009-05-08T07:07:00.005-04:00

I won't be at my computer tomorrow, so I wanted to wish my darling niece, Miss Lucy Cooke, a great-big-full-of-love-and-smooches "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She has grown SO much, and I really miss being a part of her life in the same way I used to be. She's a gorgeous little lady, and she is as charming as could be. I've been madly in love with her since the staff meeting when Andrew announced she was coming. From her fiery curls down to her marker-painted toes, I just love her to bits! So enjoy the Big Two, LuGoose. Aunt Suz loves you!

My Masterpiece is Finished!

2009-05-03T08:25:00.003-04:00

It didn't turn out exactly how I wanted (I should have gone with the duller green color), but the more I look at it, the more I like it! It's definitely unique, and I like that I painted it myself. I've posted closeups of the hands below; some are definitely better than others. I guess if I start to hate it, I can always spend another $3 on paint and make it brand new once again!

Happy Birthday, Boys!

2009-04-29T17:46:00.003-04:00

On April 27, two of my ADORABLE nephews had their birthdays. My little buddy, Chase Michael, turned 10, and the too-freaking-cute-for-words Anthony James turned 1. I dedicated my Facebook status and photo to the little darlings all day, and I thought I'd share the picture with you. They're just too precious for words!

LOVE YOU BOYS!

Creative Stroke of Genius of Laura Cooke Proportions!

2009-04-29T17:33:00.004-04:00

I have been staring at my sad, beat up, $4 garage sale coffee table all winter long. I've been waiting for the weather to get a bit warmer so I can make this interestingly-shaped coffee table look fresh and fun. All of my staring finally paid off this morning! I have decided how to make it fabulous once more.

I'm going to paint it a deep, chocolate brown (to match my TV stand [also $5 at a garage sale. Holla.]). I will then paint my hands a nice spring green (the color of my laptop, bedspread, oh goodness, I LOVE that color!) and put a handprint in each corner of the table. After letting that dry, I'm going to...get this, people...paint on henna designs. WHOAAAA. I know, I'll give you a minute to handle my greatness.

****

**** still admiring? Ok, I'll give you a moment more.

****

Ok, so it may not be everyone's cup of tea to have bright green painted hands on their coffee tables, but it is SO mine! Plus, it gives me an opportunity to paint very tiny things, which always centers me and makes me happy to be in the world. And in case you're not sure what henna is, I've included a photo below:

I'm super pumped! When i finally get around to buying the paint (because you KNOW I don't like to pay full price for anything [which drives Ivan and my mother nuts...but they secretly LOVE it]), I'll post a picture of the grand "new" table.

On a furniture note, if anyone would like to visit good ol' Btown on August 1 and surprise me with a comfy couch (ugly is ok, thrift store sheets make great slipcovers) or a couple of kitchen chairs, I'd be eternally thankful!

CONGRATS, IVANI!

2009-04-22T14:53:00.004-04:00

Ivan just got his email that he has been accepted into medical school! He's going to the American University of Antigua (it's in the Caribbean--hello, 2010 vacation spot!). He'll study the academic part there, then do his rotations, residency, etc. in the States. I am freaking PUMPED! We've been friends, etc. for quite a long time, and becoming a doctor has always been his top priority. He hit a few bumps along the way, but we all knew he would get into med school. I'm SO proud of him!

Here's the site: http://www.auamed.org/
The picture above is Antigua. Doesn't it look like a dream? I'd much rather be there than Indiana, that's for sure.

Louise and I are SICK!

2009-04-14T15:03:00.006-04:00

I was so sick yesterday! I was really considering going to the ER. I was throwing up about every 40 minutes from 1am to 2pm. Yuck. I'm much better today, but I tried to get up this morning and fell right back down on the couch. Dehydration sucks. I was so weak, but I'm on glass #12 today of water, and I can really feel a difference.

Perhaps more importantly, my Louise is ill. I read online that the lifespan of a hyacinth is pretty short, but she's just looking terrible. She grew SO quickly (perhaps 8" since I bought her?), but she's starting to thin out. Her delicious, sweet smell is starting to turn into something quite gross--I'm not sure why that's happening, but she's about to have her flowers trimmed off!

On a completely unrelated note, I think I'm going to start adding pictures to my blog. Laura is the blogging QUEEN, and I am just trying to steal all of her good ideas and improve my own blog. Celebrating Haikusday is tempting, but that is just too dang clever to steal. Sigh. One day I will reclaim my blogging glory.

Assistance Needed!

2009-04-06T11:25:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning and greeted my dear, sweet, Louise. Unfortunately, she is looking very droopy. Does anyone know how to keep the stalks strong and straight on a hyacinth? The poor lil thing is looking very sad. I think I'll leave some Mozart playing while I'm gone today. I remember someone's plant project for the 8th grade science fair that showed that classical music promotes significant plant growth. It should be noted that my 8th grade science fair project was pouring various cough syrups into plants and seeing which ones died faster--I was no scientist.

Leave your advice in my comments, please! By the way, I already did a brief internet search, and I didn't find much.

Thanks!

My Dear Louise

2009-04-05T21:42:00.002-04:00

I finally went grocery shopping today with the Kroger gift card Mom gave me. I have discovered that I am super cheap and super shopping savvy (well, at least when it comes to groceries). I know I only use bread for grilled cheese sandwiches, so I buy the 56cent bread. I know I doctor my soups, so I buy the Value brand at 47cent a can. I also just discovered the "must sell" section of the meat department. I bought a pot roast for just under $3, cooked it today in the crock pot, and have lunch for the rest of the week.

Anyway, I was on my way to the checkout, feeling quite proud (and looking quite pretty in my floral skirt from morning mass), and I passed by the flower section. I smelled the hyacinths, and thought, I did VERY well with my grocery shopping. I'm going to buy myself a present. I chose a very pretty purple one. Since I tend to forget about plants and kill them rather quickly, I decided to name this one in hopes that I can take better care of it--er, her. Her name is Louise. She is going to replace the dog that I can't have in this AWFUL apartment.

On a completely unrelated note, the new Quizno's commercials are REALLY starting to make me uncomfortable. If you haven't seen it, the basic rundown is that the oven is sexually harassing the Quizno's employee. It asks his to "put it in" him (the new sandwich). When the employee refuses to rub the oen down with a shammy like "last time," the oven says, "Come on, we both enjoyed that." AWKWARD.

Rough Night

2009-04-01T09:26:00.005-04:00

I went to bed at 5am. Well, I went to bed at 10pm, then woke up at midnight for Ivan's yearly April Fool's Day joke (surprisingly, I wasn't gullible this year--I was prepared for the call), back to bed at 1:30, then back up at 3am. Why was I up at 3am? The worst April Fool's Day trick EVER--played by my apartment complex. Unfortunately, it was no trick. Water was dripping/pouring from the apartment above me, soaking the smoke detector and everything in my hall closet. The alarm went off, I freaked, called my rental company, wrote down the emergency maintenance number, and called--twice. It had been disconnected. SUPERB. I then resorted to calling 911, screaming "NOT AN EMERGENCY!!!!" as soon as the dispatcher picked up, and explained the situation. She referred me to the Bloomington Police Dept., who then referred my to the Bloomington Fire Dept. By this time, I was sick of trying to yell over a fire alarm (and it was really freaking me out even more), so i threw an oven mitt at it until it quieted down to a sickly, squealy groan (water and batteries don't play well together...?! Sigh.). I told the dispatcher several times that it was not an immediate emergency and that human lives weren't being threatened, but they still came speeding through the city with their sirens blaring...all three trucks carrying all six firefighters and the fire chief (the picture above is of the fire trucks parked on the street). I understand that it must have been a slow night, and they were probably bored, but I was trying not to wake my neighbors at 3:30am. They investigated, nearly smashed through the window of my upstairs neighbors, and drained their 30 gallon water heater. They will have cold showers this morning. I think it's good payback for all the loud lovin' they do every day at 8am...and 11am...and 3pm...and 10pm. Sheesh.

Meanwhile, three random neighbors from the house across the alley, whom I had never met (or cared to meet), were discussing the situation with the firefighters. They were up at an ungodly hour, no doubt because of all the commotion I brought to the neighborhood, so I kindly offered them a beer from my fridge. It is important to note that the beer was Bass Ale--no cheap Keystone for these fellas. They gladly accepted; I then discovered that they were all drunk, and one was especially obnoxious. They requested/entered my apartment on their own for a tour of the situation, so I begrudgingly complied. After all, a team of Bloomington's finest protectors were just a few feet away. I realized the drunkest one had a cigarette in my apartment, near the dying smoke detector, right in front of the firefighter. I shooed him out with a very stern, motherly lecture on fire safety and respecting people's space, and they all went back home. Yuck.

The fire chief told me their heater had been leaking for a while, but they hadn't felt the need to mention it...idiots. he also said that the manager of my rental company was furious that the emergency number on the recording was wrong, so I began to worry. Would people lose their jobs over this mishap? The economy is bad enough--I had better be sure that the number was wrong. I called the main number back and listened to the recording again...OHHHHH...the area code was 888, NOT 812....shit. I freaked out. After the firefighters left with a flurry of me screaming "thank you" and "I'm so sorry it wasn't a real emergency," I waited another half hour for the maintenance man to finally take down the screeching smoke detector.

The adventure doesn't end there. The maintenance man who came to my house was obviously drunk, and I suspect that he was into meth (rotting teeth, open sores of picked skin, etc.). He took down the smoke detector, then stayed another 20 minutes to tell me about his new Blackberry and walk in stumbly circles. Sigh. While the odd meth man was fixing my flooded apartment, I hear a knock at the door. Who would knock on my door at 4:30am? Oh, hooray--the creepy drunk neighbor boy! He half stumbled into me, asked if I wanted to smoke a cigarette with him, and when I said I didn't smoke and was going to bed, he walked away in a huff in the opposite direction of his house. In the words of the Four Seasons, "oh, what a night!"

On top of that, I have a paper due at 1pm today. Ugh.

I need a hug.

Q & A

2009-03-28T20:49:00.002-04:00

I was browsing blogs, and I found this Q & A. Enjoy learning a few completely useless facts about me.

1. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a lawyer for many years. I am fantastic at arguing, and could sell a ketchup popsicle to a lady in white gloves. I think I had some very serious and noble motivation for wanting to practice family law, but the only thing I can really remember now is that I wanted to debate and persuade people as a career.

2. What have you done in the past week to help someone else?
My team won Rally for Service! Rally is a somewhat complex week-long event, but basically my awesome team pulled together and beat the HUGE Nonprofit Management Association team. We are privileged to give over $350 to the Shalom Community Center in Bloomington, the charity we chose. They're fantastic. Google them.

3. Who is the best-dressed person you know?
The best dressed man I know has to be the guy who sits in front of me in Public Organizations. His name is Zach, and he always looks like a thirty-something business executive on the weekend. He looks so put together, but not too fancy.
I'm not really sure who the best dressed woman I know is, but Rachael always looks quite put together, even on her "scrubby" days.

4. What is on your nightstand?
My cell phone charger, in-progress novels I'll probably never finish, a box of the AMAZING tissues with Vicks in them, my stuffed lion named Button that i've had since I was three years old, and a few fancy earrings. I always forget to take my earrings out after I've been to the bar, so I wake up in the middle of the night being poked in the side of the head, take them out, and throw them on the bedside table. They never seem to make it back to the jewelry box.

5. If you were a cat, what kind of a cat would you be?
I think I'd be the kind that lives in a very loving home, but sneaks out every day to explore the neighborhood. I'm a restless and adventurous soul, but I always come back to what I know and love.

6. If you lived in a house surrounded by acres of trees, what particular type of tree would you want flourishing on your land?
I want a magnolia tree or some other tree with giant blooms. I love them!

7. What do you find to be very overrated?
American Idol, most Will Farrell movies, and professional football are my current gripes.

8. How many email addresses do you have?
I'm not quite sure, but I have them all forwarded to my gmail account.

9. Have you ever felt replaced?
Yes, but I'm never particularly upset about it. I mourn the loss of my place in that person's life, but I celebrate the new opportunities for both of us. Wow, that sounded like such a canned, crappy answer. Sorry, but it's true.

10. Would you rather watch football or baseball?
I love baseball and hate football. I think I hate football mostly because I don't understand it. The game of baseball is far superior, but football comes with hot wings and other delicious food. Does that make me a serious fat kid that hot wings make the baseball/football decision rather difficult?

11. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
It's a disco ball. It makes me feel very cool and party girl, even when I'm on hour six of writing a paper.

12. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to.
"But when he's gone, me and the lonesome blues collide. The bed's too big; the frying pan's too wide." --"My Old Man," Joni Mitchell

13. Do you use a feed reader?
I'm not even sure what that is. I assume I don't, but heck, who knows?

14. What chocolate do you always leave in the box?
The fruit creme ones are disgusting. I'm not much of a boxed chocolates girl. I think they're usually worse than anticipated. Chocolate should NEVER disappoint!

15. What would you do if you found out your ex is engaged?
I'd be shocked. I could only hope it would be the oh-so-classy Whitney...hahaha. He'll get that reference. I just don't ever think he could find a chick as awesome as I am, so I'd feel bad that he was settling. ;o)

16. Do words hurt you?
Yes. I am very sensitive. I'm working on thickening my skin, but it's a long, rough road.

17. Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both?
Anyone who has known me for more than three minutes knows I'm a talker. Anyone who has ever had a problem knows I'm a listener. I hate silence, so I always try to fill it; however, I am a very good listener for anyone who needs one.

18. Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
Yes. It was a bad night. I still feel very sad when thinking of the tide coming in, us sitting on the lifeguard chair, crying, wishing I could swim away.

19. Who is your favorite professional athlete?
Uhhh, any baseball player with big arms and a cute face. Haha!

20. Which TV show have you seen pretty much every episode of?
The Cosby Show. I'm obsessed.

The Hot New Children's Story

2009-03-24T13:43:00.004-04:00

Rachael (a close SPEA friend) and I sat next to one another during our Nonprofit class today. We were gchatting (it's instant messaging via gmail, for those of you who aren't hip to the new forms of communication), and our very boring and inept professor said something about a sinkhole. We only listen to about 10% of what he says, but we generally pick up on the extra strange bits. I told her I'd like to watch a sinkhole swallow an old refrigerator. Somehow that comment turned into an entire conversation about sinkholes, and I decided I was going to write a series of children's books about a young boy named Leo who befriends a lonely sinkhole named Francesca. He brings her mint chocolate chip ice cream and veggie pizza, and she tells him of the exciting, magical world inside her tummy. By the end of the series, he decides to give up his boring seven-year-old life for an eternity of whimsy inside Francesca's stomach. Well, here's the kicker folks...she was tricking Leo all along, and just eats him.

The ending was Rachael's idea. She's more nuts than I am.

Perhaps we should pay attention in that class, but we have tried that--total waste of time, believe me. Sometimes grad school really is a "pay your fee, get your B" type of situation.

Oh well.

Blogging Revival...?

2009-03-23T23:50:00.002-04:00

I was reminded that people actually do check my blog, so I feel obligated to give the yearning public something.

Life updates are rather boring. Blogs are, by nature, incredibly self-absorbed (and I LOVE it--mine and everyone else's...I am a big believer in blogging), and I don't really care to talk about my life in great detail. If you're curious, call or email me.

I miss the days of serious blogging. I used to make people laugh, cry, and think, all in the same post. It was fantastic. I have seriously slacked. I feel like my life is progressing SO quickly--I can't keep up! Grad school has been a wonderful experience, but awful at the same time. I love my friends here, and living by myself has been fantastic. I've learned so much about myself and my capabilities. Paying bills is satisfying. I pay them on time and in full, which is a very grown-up thing I've never really had the opportunity to do. The coursework has been either impossibly difficult or annoyingly easy. I've had a couple of classes that were challenging and enjoyable, but I've been quite disappointed with the program so far--that sentiment has been echoed by my fellow students many times, so I'm not just being silly. I'm not dating anyone--I know the family really likes to keep up on that (by the way, I think it's hilarious that the older family members are questioning my ability to find a husband and are wondering how the probably-barren body of this old spinster will EVER produce new kids for everyone to snuggle. To those very loved family members: CALM DOWN. I'm still VERY young, and I promise that I will someday marry a nice young man and produce several snuggly little ones for you. Until I call you to invite you to a wedding or baby shower, STOP ASKING. Thank you. I do love you very much and know your concerns are just from your love for me and concern for my happiness.). Since school and my love life seem to be the only real portions of my life most people ask about, let's move on.

I visited Maryland during spring break. Sigh. I can't even express how much I love the people there. The friends are fantastic, and they're the kind of friends with whom I speak every couple of months, but can still rely on for anything and have a great time whenever we reconnect. I went for my little MoRo's baptism (the newest Cooke cutie). Laura's youngest brother, Paul, celebrated his first Eucharist during the same mass, so it was a fantastic event. The Cookes are much more like family than friends, and I have adopted their families as my own, also. I love those folks. They're always full of hugs, rambunctious kids, baked goods, advice, and truly attentive listening (I'll never understand how they do it with at least one child hanging from them at all times). The Cookes (including the Merkels, Laura's family) are just incredibly loving and accepting people. I'm blessed to know them and have them as examples of what successful families are like. And, it must be said that LuGoose has become exponentially cuter. I can't even describe it. I say "AWWW" at everything that girl says and does. She's just perfect.

Ok, I'm going to say goodbye for now. I've been "studying" and "paper writing" for so long that I've seen enough of TLC's giant families shows to make me think about very strange things (Will someone donate college money for the kids like they did diapers and strollers? Which kid will be the rebel and on the cover of Star or People in ten years? Do the parents EVER have quiet time to themselves to just be a couple?). My, oh my. I need sleep.

I hope I can find time to blog more often. I really miss it.

Procrastination

2008-12-09T15:23:00.002-05:00

So I'm sitting in the library, occasionally working on the FIFTEEN journal article reviews/course connections I have to do, and I am finding it impossible to concentrate. I am SO finished with this semester. I decided to study with a friend, and he has vowed to never study with me again, mainly because not only am I terribly unfocused, but I seem to ooze a contagious slacker vibe. Oops.

I am excited for this week to be over! After Thursday's paper, I'm only a take home final and an in class final away from Christmas break. Also, the end of this semester marks the 1/4 point of grad school. Thank freaking God.

I think I'm going to really settle in tonight and finish these journal reviews and perhaps study for my law exam tomorrow. I am in need of a serious scholastic rejuvenation. Any refocusing advice is welcomed!

Ok, I'm going to convince Michael to go get food so I will, perhaps, begin to focus a bit.

LOOOOOOOOOVE,

Suz

Whirlwind

2008-12-07T08:43:00.003-05:00

The year is coming to a close, and along with it, the semester (thank GOD). Stats is officially over (Dr. W went back to Kenya a couple of weeks early, allowing his students to end the semester early for that class!). Econ is the absolute worst and most painful thing in the world except, perhaps, being kicked in the teeth with track spikes. Next week is out last week of classes, and after next Friday at 9:30ish am, I will forget an economy even exists.

Moving on to the good stuff:
My friend from undergrad, Matt, is flying in on Thursday to spend the weekend! Bloomington is great, and I'm excited to show him around. It's no Frostburg, that's for sure; but nothing will ever compare to that tiny little mountain town. The Burg will always be one of my homes.

Jason, my baby brother (ok, he's not quite a baby--he's 21) is coming to live with me after the New Year! He's spending New Year's eve partying it up with me, and he's tagging along back to B-Town for a while. I'm excited to be able to keep an eye on him--that kid worries me sometimes!

My apartment is all Christmasyyyy! Mom got me a small tree and some ornaments. and it is decorated beautifully! I put little candy canes on it for an extra festive flare. Christmas carols have been playing nonstop in my apartments! I finally sat down and learned Night of Silence (youtube Silent Night/Night of Silence if you've never heard of it), and I will be practicing regularly until SPEA Christmas caroling on Wednesday. We're taking over the Salvation Army's job and manning the red kettles at Marsh Wednesday evening. If you're in the Bloomington area, come to Marsh to hear some wonderful (but perhaps slightly off key) Christmas carols and donate some cash!

The VITAL Christmas party was yesterday. I got suckered into singing "Feliz Navidad"--cheesy snaps and hip shakes included. Everyone knows I'm terrified to sing in front of people, but quickly get over it when I realize I have a captive audience. So sad, lol. Everyone won a door prize, and I picked up this book called Mind Games. It seems pretty interesting. I was also given a poinsettia...my least favorite flower. They bleed this white goo and i think it's gross and alien-like. Oh well, it's sitting next to my Christmas tree. I was told it was a tropical plant (then who the heck decided to make it the Christmas flower?), so I set it near the heater on the floor. I'll either kill it or I'll have the happiest poinsettia Christmas has ever seen. We'll see.

Ok, econ calls (I wish I could ignore the calls like I do every other guy who annoys me to the point of true disdain). I have a case analysis due Monday, ten journal article review due Wednesday, a law exam on Wednesday, and a case analysis for Public Managemet due Thursday. I hate school...

A very Christmasy, but cranky until next weekend, Suz

Gaining Perspective

2008-11-18T22:14:00.002-05:00

A friend of a friend of a friend (take a moment to construct the mental flow chart) killed himself last night.

I need to get a grip and gain some perspective.

I complain about school all the time (I understand the value of it, but it is one of the hardest and most emotionally challenging things I've ever gone through), and that young man decided that his life was so bad that not living was the best option.

I'm keeping this post short, shutting off the TV, and praying for that kid and his family.

Sad.

Obama08...and 09, 10, 11, and 12

2008-11-05T07:42:00.001-05:00

Yes we can?

YES WE DID!

so exciting.

Things That Make Me Happy

2008-11-04T17:15:00.004-05:00

A brief list of things I love today:

My new knee cap stabilizer strap. Oh, goodness it feels great.

Election fever. It's so exciting! If only people were this excited about our government in non-election years.
The library. Anyone can go, stay as long as they want (pretty much), and learn anything they want from a collection of the world's knowledge.
Saved By the Bell reruns. I just love them.
Apple cider. It's tangy, sweet, and freaking delicious. I'm drinking the last glass of the gallon. Yikes!
$2 Tuesdays at Kilroy's. You can buy a cheeseburger (and such a delicious one) with a side of chips for $2. Pair that with the giant beer pitcher of water they give you, and you've got a meal for two for less that a value meal at McDonald's, and WAY yummier!
Fall leaves. Rachael and I walked all around campus and downtown (quite a long walk) for a couple of hours today and took pictures of all the gorgeous leaves. We should have done that a week or so ago, but the colors are still beautiful.
Intervention. It's a heart-wrenching TV show that makes me cry nearly every time, but to see the addicts so happy and finally clean makes my heart fill up to the point that I feel like I could burst.
Sexy joggers. Anyone who knows me well knows that I go for the beefier sort of men; a little chub is just hot. But when I see a trim man with broad shoulders and flexing muscles glisten in the sun as he jogs by me...oh, yes...I do stare...yum.
Kids. I just love 'em--all of them. They rock.
Chase, Chanler, Chalsie, Anthony, Lucy, and Phoebe. Those baseball playing, Cub Scouting, imagination using, chubby cheeked, red haired, womb living little ones are the GREATEST kids in the universe.
Giant sweatshirts. They just feel like a hug. Since I live alone, it's the only hug I regularly get, haha.
My Aunt Laura. She and I have always been very close, and she's a second mom to me. She's amazing.
My cousin, the rep...repub...oh, I just can't bring myself to say it (heehee)...voting for Barack Obama!
Teaching. I've always loved to teach kids, and I'm really enjoying teaching adults. I must say that teaching kids is easier and more fun, but teaching adults is making me really think about how to communicate (I had a very serious conversation with a woman who knows perhaps 15 words of English), how to connect with people on a level other than words, and how to gain confidence in myself and help other find it in themselves, too.
Halloween. I like to wear my tutu around the house all the time anyway, so it was nice to be able to wear it in public without people thinking I'm strange. yes, I do fake ballet around my apartment. it's quite a spectacle.

That's it for now. I failed my Stats midterm, so I needed to focus on the positives around me.

Is it next semester yet?

SuzzyQ

ESL Class Update

2008-10-27T15:00:00.001-04:00

The library called...I now have 17 students enrolled. I have rarely felt this inadequate and ill prepared. Eff. Advice is welcomed.

Salvar al Mundo

2008-10-26T21:17:00.002-04:00

Translation (according to some translation website I Googled): saving the world.

The VITAL (Volunteers in Tutoring Adult Learners) program at the library needed an ESL (English as a Second Language, for those who don't know) teacher for a class of ten(ish) adults who are native Spanish speakers. Classes are for two hours every Monday, and it's only for six weeks to start with. I'm not sure what level the learners are, so I'm a bit in the dark. I'm quite nervous. I can walk into a classroom full of kids from all sorts of backgrounds, with all sorts of problems, and rock it. I have no idea how to teach adults. I've been through some training, but it's never enough without real experience. I hardly feel like a real adult myself. Let's not even begin to consider the fact that they've probably had a life that's a hundred times more difficult than mine. Crap. I better get it together before tomorrow evening. :o\

I just spent three hours making worksheets and planning activities for the first class.

ANNNNND I have a midterm on Tuesday and one on Wednesday. SHOOT MEEEEEEE.

I don't want you to think I'm complaining about it...well...I am complaining, but I really want to do it. School this semester is really getting me down, and being able to teach and help other people, I get my spirit back. It helps remind me why I'm working my ass off right now. It may take up a little extra time and energy, but it's what's keeping me going right now.

I scheduled my classes for next semester, and they seem SO exciting! I'm taking:
Public Organizations
Intergovernmental System Management
Public Management and Contracting
The Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector

After I finish with Stats and Econ, I can finally get into coursework I enjoy. The first semester at SPEA is kind of like basic training and hazing all mixed into one. It sucks, but everyone goes through it, and we're all going through it together. It's quite a bonding experience.

*sigh* I need to get to sleep early tonight. I'm listening to Disney tunes like a weirdo, and singing loud enough for people two floors up to hear (whatever--they should just enjoy the free concert). I will leave you with a little taste of my Disney concert.

I can show you world
Shining, shimmering, splendid.
Tell me, Princess, now when did you last let your heart decide.
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under on a magic carpet ride
A WHOLE NEW WOOOOOOOOORLD
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming.
A WHOLE NEW WOOOOOOOOORLD
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm WAAAY up here,
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with youuuuuuuu.

Hope you enjoyed that as much as the person in Apt. 3C did. HAHA!

Goodnight!

Suzeriffic.

Culinary Mastermind/Domestic Goddess in Training

2008-10-23T19:59:00.002-04:00

My life is filled with strong, beautiful domestic goddesses. Between my grandmothers, my mother, and Laura, I have a lot of people to seek advice and wisdom from, and a lot to live up to! Women, be proud: I made my first crock pot meal. Yes, it's a bit "Honey, I'm home," Mrs. Cleaver, whitewash the fence, but I am very proud of myself.

In case you'd like to know my not-so-secret, but oh-so-yummy chili recipe, here it is:

3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
1 can white corn*
1 can black beans*
1 can chili beans*
2 cans fire roasted tomatoes* (I love tomatoes. Feel free to use 1 can)
*pour all the juices in the crock pot

hot sauce
cilantro (add a few minutes before serving)
cayenne pepper
pepper
Old Bay (This is the spice that gives the chili a unique and freaking delicious flavor)

Regarding the spices, add however much you like. I have an iron tongue and LIVE for cayenne pepper, and I just cook for myself, so i use a few tablespoons of it.

I created this throw together recipe because this was all I had in my poor grad student pantry. I encourage you to add all sorts of things. If it's gross, you're out 56cents (I get my Koger canned veggies on sale!), and you've eliminated one more ingredient from you PERFECT chili recipe. Why stick with what your great grandmother/grandmother/mother made? Learn from their wisdom, be bold, and create your own culinary adventure! OH! It's like the Choose Your Own Adventure book othe kitchen. Oh, I feel a new recipe book concept forming... :o)

I'm in a much better mood than last post, by the way. I took my Econ quiz (ehh...we'll see how that went), and I'm going to pretend I don't have a Public Management midterm on Tuesday and a Stats midterm on Wednesday until AFTER I hang out at Yogi's the Speons tonight. I think that after a few minipitchers of Killian's, I will feel much better about spending my weekend canoodling with my textbooks.

Well, I'm wrapping up. I am quite skuzzy, and a shower is next on the agenda.

Miss and love you all!

Suz

Discouraged

2008-10-21T22:36:00.002-04:00

I hate life right now.

Let me correct myself: I have my life regarding all things mathematical. Stats and Econ have not only taken over nearly every waking thought, but have destroyed my morale to the point that I sometimes reconsider whether I will survive this semester. I know things will be MUCH better next semester when I'm enrolled in classes which are in my concentrations and I will actually enjoy. Right now, I'm getting buy on a smile and a prayer. I HATE anything mathematical. Shoot me.

I'm going back to studying for my econ quiz tomorrow. I am beginning to hate life.

All I want for Christmas is an easier schedule...and, if anyone who wants to buy me a Christmas present is reading, I also want gift cards to Express or money for rent. Those would be nice, too.

:o( Cheer ups are welcomed.

United Way Video

2008-08-27T14:44:00.003-04:00

DUM dum dum DUM dum dum DUMMMMMMM (the presentation song...)

The 2008 United Way Campaign Video is finished, and yours truly is on there!

Check it out!

They used mostly Cyril's words, because he is just a fabulous orator, but I'm still on there! I never realized how droopy my eyelids are, lol.

Anyway, enjoy the video, donate, volunteer, etc.

This is how I live united!

Suzzy

Grad School...So Far

2008-08-23T11:50:00.003-04:00

I LOVE grad school. Ok, I haven't actually started classes yet, but the socializing part is fantastic. :o) I was forced into math camp, this awful 5-day refresher course on everything I never wanted to know about math. Math camp helped a little, but I am certainly not where I should be after 17 years of schooling--I thought an asymptote was a new type of handbag. I have made several friends, including one pretty good one named Rachael. She Facebooked me in the spring because we were both going to SPEA, and we had been talking ever since. It turns out that she lives half a block away from me! We walk to school together every morning, which is very first grade. I love it. I have met a couple of 2nd year students, and they are full of essential knowledge and great advice. The professor I am a GA for, Dr. Gronbjerg, is the name in nonprofit research in the world. I plan to work my ass off for her. I believe in her project (making a searchable, comprehensive database of Indiana nonprofits, their growth, progress, and needs), and a reference from her pretty much makes my resume dipped in gold.

On another note, I also LOVE my apartment. It's not too big to feel empty and lonely, but it's not too small that I feel cramped. It's a little...um...well, it's a good starter apartment. The maintenance guy is very nice, and he comes within a couple of hours of an online request. After a full week of math camp, napping, and consuming a bottle of wine nearly every night (Rachael and I are winos), my apartment has thrown up on itself. I have shoes in the living room, dirty dishes in the sink, and I haven't made my bed in four days. I will be cleaning today.

If anyone would like to donate to the "Suz can barely afford rent until her refund check comes through in three weeks" fund, it would be greatly appreciated. Honestly, I can pay bills, but I really want to experience B-town these first couple of weeks. I'm hoping to wear low-cut shirts and smile at some young undergrads so they will buy me drinks. It may sound mildly trashy, but c'mon...I'm being financially responsible, utilizing my strengths, and honing a skill which will only be available to me for the next 5 years or so. ;o)

Ok, I'm going to pop in a movie and get scrubbing on this place...it's driving me NUTS!

Love you all, and don't forget to call or write!

Suz

The Blogging Hiatus is OVER!

2008-08-07T09:09:00.003-04:00

I move into my new big girl apartment (by myself...yikes!) tomorrow, so the no blogging streak can finally end. Hooray! I like to take the summers off from blogging, mostly because I want to be with friends and family much more than sit in front of a computer. Bleh.

So, my step-brother, Mike, married Jenny, this tiny little blond thing who is quite possibly the most adorable woman I've ever seen. She's as sweet as pie. The wedding was in a botanical garden, and only had about 50 people (I'm terrible at estimations, but I think it around that number). It was the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to. It makes me want to have a small wedding! I brought Bradton, one of my very good friend with whom I work, and we had a blast. He caught the garter and I caught the bouquet...that was the source of much amusement for my family. Sorry fam, he's just a friend! The motel we stayed at was...an adventure. Oh gosh...it deserves its own paragraph.

The Ashley Motel is...um...sort of like a brothel and a crack den mixed together with a toothless, racist staff, dirty bathtubs, no air conditioning (dirty fans graciously provided), and seedy neighbors who told Bradton to "get that" and complimented me on my "badonk." Yes. Quality folks. I think think there was a meth lab on one side of us and heroin-addicted ex-convicts on the other. I feared for my life, and feared for Bradton's even more (he's Black, and according to the nice bartender at Applebee's, the Ashley motel is known for its less-than-open-minded owners and guests.) Jeez. We left at 7am. I had to ring the doorbell of the house next door, nearly get attacked by a schnauzer, and inhale enough cigarette smoke to cause emphysema for the entire county population just to drop the key off. I said "thank you" and she said "yeah *COUGH COUGH HAAAACK COUGH COUGH* ok." I think I did 85 out of the parking lot and continued until we hit Richmond and rewarded ourselves for surviving with pancakes at IHOP.

I lost my digital camera (I think it was stolen at Freedom Schools nationals, actually), and so I have no pictures of the wedding, Freedom Schools this year, or my new apartment. I think I'm going to use some of my student loans refund to buy a new one. Ugh, I don't want to have to do that. Crap. Everything is moved out to the garage, with the exception of my computer and one load of laundry. Hooray! Any advice or helpful hints about anything related to living on my own are greatly appreciated. Leave some comments.

I spent the past few days at the Cookes' in the 'Burg. It was delightful! Lucy seemed to remember me right away, which was a relief. Laura and I picked up right where we left off, and I think we began driving Andrew nuts again within the first few hours. :o) I also got to see Carlie, another friend from school, which was very nice. It sometimes just takes one post-school visit to solidify a friendship for life. You just have to put in that extra effort to say "yes, I want to continue this friendship after college"--at least I hope that's all it really takes. Mr. Bill, a professor who has always been my mentor and, that last semester, my savior with a mercy B so I could keep my 3.5 GPA, took some time out of his busier-than-God schedule to hang out and chat with me. He always has such great words of wisdom for me.

I need to finish up a bit of laundry, head to the bank, and do a few other last minute things, so I'll say goodbye for now. Since this is a public blog, I won't post my new address here, but comment that you want it, with your email address, and I will send it to you!

Lots of love,

Suz

mini update

2008-05-26T10:30:00.002-04:00

Graduation went well. It was boring, as expected, but wasn't as long as I had anticipated. I got the babysitting job for a darling three year old named Glenn. She's jut adorable, and oh-so-smart! It should be tons of fun. It's only on Saturdays, so it'll be just enough for some extra cash through the week, but not enough to constitute complaining about having two jobs.

Freedom Schools officially starts for servant-leaders tomorrow. We have pre-training for a couple of hours, which isn't really a big deal. Lots of paperwork and scheduling of classes (child abuse prevention/recognition, first aid, cpr/aed, communicable diseases, etc.). I leave for Tennessee on Sunday, which should be just as fun and exhausting as last year. Spending a week with coworkers (we even live together during that week) in a high-stress environment can really break a person down. Our days are usually from 7:30am to 11pm, and I set aside one night to go out on the town with my friend, Andi, whom I met at the Idealist conference I went to last year. She lives just a few minutes from the University of Tennessee, so she's picks me up and we go have some fun!

I have tried to call the Cookes for a few days now. I haven't heard back--I hope everything's ok. If you're reading this, Laura, give me a call!

My graduation party went well--it was a blast, and if you weren't there, you missed out! I got lots of money, which is exactly what I need being on such a tight budget next year (groceries might not have to be considered a "luxury expense" afterall!)

I won't be blogging very much this summer because the computer here is just...*sigh*...so just check back every couple of weeks and you shouldn't have too much to catch up on.

I have lots and lots of thank you cards to write, so I'm going to get on that.

Love,

The Suz.

Tribute to the Cookes

2008-05-11T19:36:00.005-04:00

I graduate in six days. I have come to terms with leaving undergrad and my friends, but I have yet to be able to handle the thought of leaving my Frostburg family, the Cookes. This post is dedicated to them.Andrew was my boss in Westminster Hall, where I was a Resident Assistant last year. He was the best boss I have ever had, and one of the best friends I have ever had, too. He made sure to give me the freedom to be the kind of RA I wanted to be, but never hesitated to say "Suuuuuz," purse his lips, tilt his head to the side, and give me that look of you know what you need to do, so you better do it. Andrew has always supported me. He has revised my resumes, bought me food when I had none, driven me home when I was too drunk to stumble three blocks, and given me advice on everything from school to dating. I have had so much fun scheming with him about events and presents for Laura. I love the giddy, sneaky look he gets when he frantically waves me into a corner of the apartment, says, "Alright, Suz... " (or occasionally, "Listen, Gus..."), and tells me about his latest genius plan to show Laura how much he loves her. Andrew is the greatest man I've ever known, and is the standard against whom I will compare every other man I ever meet. I am so lucky to call him a friend.
Laura is truly my best friend. I am so lucky to have a couple of those. Laura is my best friend, sister, mother, partner in crime, teacher, counselor, comedienne, and source of most things wonderful in my life. I can't believe I haven't even know her for two years. She has become such an integral part of my life. Laura always supports me when I'm right, always tells me when I'm wrong, and always helps me consider all sides of an issue when neither of us are sure what to do. Before I took my GRE, and had resigned to a painful failure, she promised to make me an "eat away your pain" dinner of my favorite foods. When I surprised myself and did well on the GRE, she changed the name to "Suz's celebratory dinner." When I got into grad school, she squealed like a preteen at a Hannah Montana concert, and made me another congratulatory dinner. We always work together as a team to tackle things which would be too much for one person to handle. When she has to clean the apartment (and perhaps keep a shred of sanity), I hang out with Lucy for a few hours and explore Frostburg. When she had five bajillion cookies to decorate for Nina's baby shower, we piped and piped and piped until our muscles ached. When I was so stressed out about school and relationships and everything else in the world, she told me a funny story...then poured me several glasses of wine. Laura makes me laugh constantly. She bathes my entire world in sunshine. Laura and I communicate via eye contact and secret words (hey Laura: "touche" hahahaha). I make time each day to sexually harass her; she loves it. A booty grab a day keeps a friendship strong. She is my role model. She is my example of a strong, faithful, family-oriented woman, and I'm not sure she realizes how amazing she is, despite how often I tell her. I hope I can be half as great as she is one day.
LuGoose is my niece. I am absolutely nuts about her. I love to scream and blow raspberries with her, especially when it drives her Mama crazy. I love to feed her crunchies, yogurt drops, puffs and other strange, crispy toddler foods (and steal a few for myself). I love to help her learn. I love to hear "Lucy, whoooo's here?" before Laura opens the door and see Lucy scream with delight and immediately launch herself into my arms. I love when she carries my shoes to me. I love to give her those very small, auntly things which Mama just can't allow her to do for fear of creating a routine: playing with my cell phone (and usually calling people or sending texts which say: "7#xj555#"), screaming very loudly for no reason at all, feeding me squishy pieces of slobber-soaked dinner, and learning new words which Mama hopes she will soon forget (like "whack" as in "Mama is whack"). I do NOT love changing poopy diapers, wrestling her into sleepers, cleaning up after the Hiroshima of cold spaghettios and shredded cheese that is left in her highchair, not being able to console her after a fall (that is something that only Mama can do), and saying "goodbye". I do, however, love being able to do all of those things, no matter how much I may complain about them. Putting that wiggly little ball of cuteness into a sleeper is like wrestling a greased piglet into a tube sock, but I love to blow in her face and eat her feet to make her giggly and still for just a few seconds (enough time to get an arm in).
The Cookes are so wonderful. I know we will be very close friends for the rest of our lives. It hurts so much to know that, after this week, I won't be able to walk to the Cookes' for dinner, a movie, baked goods, and drinks.

To Andrew, Laura, and Lucy, I love you. I will miss you more than Britney Spears misses sobriety, class, and fame. Touche, Douches. xoxo

Cult Love

2008-04-20T20:29:00.003-04:00

Graduation is approaching quickly. Yikes. I'm still freaked out about losing my entire social life and comfort zone, but I feel much better because....

I GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL!

I will be starting my Master of Public Affairs degree this fall at Indiana University in Bloomington. I will duel concentrate in Nonprofit Management and Policy Analysis. I am STOKED! I'm trying to find a place to live and come to terms with taking out more loans than I can imagine.

On another note, I went on a field trip with my Sociology of Religion class on Friday. We went to Hillsboro, Virginia to visit the Twelve Tribes community. Google them. We all had a blast! They're a religion that combines Christianity, Judaism, and the 1960s hippie movement. They seemed liberal at first, but after speaking with them, I decided that they are ultra-conservative. The grow all their own food and are certified organic to sell their surpluses to others. They sang and danced, and we really got into it. It was a group of loving, accepting people. Many of us were nearly ready to convert after just a few hours with them! Of course, our professor was terrified that we'd get caught up in it all and insisted we couldn't convert that same day, haha. After researching them more, I am convinced they really are a cult. Many of the distinctions of a cult are part of the TT, and I didn't really see it until I got back home. I can see how so many people join cults. It's a group of wonderful people who all seem so happy. I'm glad that I have the strength to see the group for what it is; so many people don't.

Of course, I fell madly and completely in love with a 23-year old member named Chaiyim (or Kiam, which is the easier spelling/pronunciation). I'm sure I'm being silly, but we really connected. He told me half of his life story, which was certainly interesting being raised in a cult...er, community. He was born in a community (there are several around the world), and his family left when he was 15. I didn't ask why because he was on a roll, but I really wonder. He came back to the TT when he was 22. After speaking with me for a while he smiled and said "you wouldn't like it here." When I asked why, he said, "because everyone here is angry and disillusioned with the outside world." I guess I have too much faith in humanity. We talked about religion, politics, past relationships, philosophy, and social reform. *sigh* Wow, he's so...wow. He hugged me, walked me back to the car, hugged me again, and made me promise to email him and come back to visit. I'm going to try to go back in the summer. I'm on a mission to show him that the outside world still has hope, and that God is still present outside of the TT. I emailed him yesterday and am still waiting on his reply. I'm not sure how much internet time he gets there. We'll see how this goes.

On a much lighter (or, heehee, darker) note, I'm going tanning and re-dying my hair this week so that I'm gorgeous for graduation! My hair lightened up so much after I dyed it that I want it to have time to lighten up just a couple of shades before the big day.

Ok, those are really the only big news stories I have for you since the last update (which I understand was forever ago...sorrrrrry!). Momma called today and asked when I was going to update. I've been quite busy, but also a little lazy (oops!).

Until next time (which, let's be honest, will probably be in a couple of weeks),

Suzanne (which is what Kiam prefers to call me. *swoooooon* heehee)

All Sorts of Things

2008-03-07T21:39:00.004-05:00

I am no longer a blonde. I was absolutely terrified (especially after Xander, the hair-god extraordinaire said he was also very nervous), but it turned out beautifully! It's starting to lighten up now, so I bought the darker Brilliant Brunette. I hope it gets me back to the original color! I feel like I was born to be a brunette. It changes people's perceptions of me from ditzy to witty. Finally these bitches understand how much I freaking rock! Sheesh! :o)

I have also decided that I like my messy room. I always say I will clean it, but I never really want to. It's sloppy and cluttered and very lived-in. I keep the rest of the house quite clean, but I enjoy my small space of personal disorder.

I found out that Indiana University is ranked #1 in the nation for their Nonprofit Management master's degree program and is half the cost of Case Western. I told Mom, she freaked out, and now she's over it. I swear, that woman would handle me being an unwed mother with a raging meth addiction a lot better than me choosing to improve my life unexpectedly (my grad school decision wasn't unexpected in the slightest, she just never really expected me to follow through. Note to Momma: I will eventually get my PhD...start to prepare now so that you don't have a heart attack later when I remind you, haha). I have a visit to Case during the first part of spring break and a visit to IU the second part. I'm so exciteddddd! Luckily, a couple of the wonderful men in my life support my codependency and are accompanying me on both visits. Ivani will go with me to Case (and even attending a 2 hour Nonprofit Finance class on his spring break - what a trooper!), and Michael will go with me to IU (he needs to attend a class - all this co-op every other semester in school crap is so unfair!). I love them sooooo much! They're the absolute best. Those 2 guys, along with Mr. Andrew Cooke, are the 3 greatest men I've ever known. Good folks.

Miss Donna, my old boss from Freedom Schools, called me the other day. She wants me to return this summer! WOO HOOOOO! If you haven't had the pleasure (or misfortune, perhaps lol) of listening to me go on and on and on about how amazing FS is, let me enlighten you on my feelings: FS is the absolute best program in the entire world. I suggest everyone research it. Click here to see the site. You'll love it. I also got my FS swimsuit (must be a one-piece). It is fantastic! It's navy blue and is cut exactly like a 1950s bombshell pinup girl suit. H-O-T! It also has the added benefit of serious fat-sucker-inners, big-booby-boosters, and chubby-hip-slimmers. Excellent. I'll be looking hot and classy while chasing 40 elementary schoolers in 100 degree weather.

I also have an insane amount of work to do for next week. I'm scared to even begin. Yikes.

I love you all!

Suzmeister.

Growth Through Courage

2008-02-19T21:12:00.003-05:00

I attended Take Back the Night last night. It is a worldwide event that began in the 1800s as a way for women (and men) to stand up and say that they will not tolerate violence and that they will not live in a world that forces them to be afraid at night, especially of sexual violence. It's amazing, really.

An open mic night was held after the march across campus. One young woman read a piece of prose she wrote about the realness and strength of women. Considering the V-day movement is mostly about sexual violence, I decided to read a piece of prose I wrote about my past that really encapsulated my feelings. It was called "I Am a Healthy, Well-Adjusted Adult," and it was about my survival and not letting my past define me or hold me back. I introduced myself and told my story; it was the first time I had told it publicly. I said that my talking about it was important because victims of insect often feel ashamed, just as I still do many times, but it is so common that it needs to be discussed.

I began crying as soon as I looked at the audience, but I kept going. I was terrified, but I kept talking. I thought I was going to throw up and die, but I kept reading. It was probably the scariest thing I've ever done in my life...but I kept going. I looked out at the audience when I gathered enough courage to see the horrified faces, but I didn't see that at all. I saw strangers and friends crying with me. I saw my professors crying; that was strange. I cried and they cried. We were all getting through it together, and I had a line of hugs when I finished. It was a healing experience I never thought I needed. I am so proud of myself, and so many other people told me they were proud of me, too. A man gave the V-Day girls an extra $5 for a donation to the Family Crisis Resource Center (the center to which all the proceeds of V-Day and the Vagina Monologues went) because he could finally put a real face to a real problem. It was a phenomenal experience, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. I thank God for giving me that strength I didn't think I had in me. I wish you could have been there.

Love,

Suz

Triumph!

2008-02-13T16:04:00.002-05:00

I am on a save-the-world high. I must brag.

There was an awful, slanderous blog that took Frostburg by storm. Titled "Frostburg Dirt," it posted all sorts of untrue and personal things about various FSU students. That hideous pink blog was on every computer screen all day in the SGA office, and it drove me nuts. Some of the things that it said was just cruel. Not only was it the worst display of 7th grade lunch table gossipy BULLcrap, it was all written by an anonymous author.

In a recent post, the author said "Ok, people, let me know if you don't want the site - I'll take it down!"

Well, people were talknig about how dumb it was, but no one has the bollocks to post a comment and say so. I did. I wrote a very polite, but to-the-point, comment telling the author how cowardly and immature he/she was being, nd that I did not want the site to exist any longer.

HOOOOOOOLY COW, it WORKED! Less than 5 minutes later, the blog was taken down. I feel fantastic that I was the only person to stand up and voice my opinion, without a curtain of anonymity, and I was listened to!

I just had to brag that I stood up for something that I believed in and action was taken to better the Frostburg community. It might be back up tomorrow with even worse postings (and probably about me), but for now...I feel triumphant!

The Crocodile, er...Job Hunter

2008-01-27T19:12:00.000-05:00

Crikey!

Resumes, cover letters and writing samples, oh my! I am applying my little (at least considerably smaller, thanks to the gym) tushy off. I am exhausted! I spend my evenings searching through the internet jungle of job postings. I thought this would be easier. When I found my internship, I opened the yellow pages, found a place I wanted to work, called them up, and POOF! I had an internship (which was pretty amazing, I must say). When an organization is going to pay me for my services, they aren't quite as enthusiastic. If everyone wants at least 3-5 years of experience, what are recent grads supposed to do? Does Best Buy count as nonprofit development experience? Psh. At this point, I might have to suck it up and work there for a while after graduation. I only get a 6-month grace period on these student loans. I think it's silly that the only places willing to hire recent graduates are the predatory employers who are looking to farm out bitchwork. They don't want intelligent, educated, qualified people to make a difference, they want bodies to hand out flyers or shove petitions in people's faces on the street corners - NOT for me, thanks. I'm not putting bitchwork down. I understand that I will certainly do my fair share of copying and coffee-fetching for the first year or so. But I also expect to do important work and build my knowledge and experience. The worst job ad for "adventurous recent graduates!!!!" that I saw was for a fellowship promoting social justice in India. I almost applied, until I decided to look at their website. It didn't exist. I'm sure it was some awful ploys to get young, naive college girls to fly out to India, preparing to save the world, only to be shoved into a crate upon arrival and farmed out as sex slaves to Russian businessmen. It's scary to think how many people didn't look at the website first. I, for one, will not be trafficked, thank you very much. Plus, I hate Indian food.

On another note, my roomies are home, and it's a nice change from the silence. We had a bajillion people over last night and they all got trashed and we played poker. I drank my Horizon organic milk, for your information. I'm not drinking until I have enough money to buy it for myself. I've been mooching beer from too many people for too long now. Until I have a sufficient bank account again (10 cents, what?! haha), I will be sticking to good ol' H2O.

Classes start tomorrow, and I am not happy. I thought I would be, after being in school for the past 17 years, but I am certainly not. I LOVE school. It comes very easily to me, and I love that I can learn so many new and exciting things every single day. I love SGA and the other activities I'm involved in. I love being able to stop by a former professor's office just to sit and chat for a few minutes. I love spotting Freshmen (around campus, they constantly scan the area for anyone they know and walk too fast - at parties, they're sloppy-drunk with shirts that show everything God gave them. Freshman spotting really is a sport.). I love circling all the mistakes in the school paper with the other senators and talking about it loudly enough that they can hear me in school paper office across the hall. I love being able to go to class in my pajamas at noon. I love sitting around at 3am on a Tuesday, laughing hysterically with friends, knowing I have a 9:00am class that will be hell to walk through the 2 feet of snow to. I love sitting in the SGA office, laughing way too loud and having way-too-heated discussions about pretty much anything. I just...love this place. I hope I'm ready to leave in the next 3 1/2 months. :o[

Until next time, loyal readers,

Suzalicious

The Big Girl World is Lame

2008-01-18T19:45:00.000-05:00

I have been alone in this house for weeks now. I dread the day when I have my very own place and this being alone thing becomes permanent. It is really no fun to cook for just one and to pace around with nothing to do! What the hell will life be like when I'm not surrounded by friends all day long? I spend various parts of my day in classes, and the rest is spent hanging out with a raucous group of amazing people in the SGA office. In the evenings, I hang out with the Cookes (dear God, let's not get started on what I will do when I can't just walk over to their place whenever I'm bored) or enjoy some quiet Suz time in my room at home. My goodness, I can't wait for school to start again so I can restart my routine! I just don't know what people do when they're "real" adults. They work and go home. Maybe they go out on weekends, but sheesh, who do they watch American Idol with? What do they do with all the leftovers inevitably created by cooking for one? Gosh, this is scary; especially since I've been job searching and finding next to nothing in the Dayton area. What will I do if I have to move to some location where I know no one, and work in a place with mostly older people (like 60% of nonprofit employees are Baby Boomers)? Ugh, it's a frightening thought. I've never had to find friends before. Through school, I've always been surrounded by hundreds of people my age. Oh well, it's silly to whine about it now.

I wonder how many of you readers received my Barack Obama rebuttal email? I was sick of that total made up crap about a presidential candidate, so I made my own thruthful email about him. I don't want to be misunderstood here: I am a Barack Obama supporter; however, had I gotten a similar email about presidential candidate, Democrat, Republican or Independent, I would have done the same research and sent out a very similar email. Let's face it: Americans are L-A-Z-Y folks. I shudder to think of how many people read that email and took it for truth without doing any research. I'm not going to get too preachy, but hey...it is my blog, haha! Just please research your candidates. If you're a registered member of a party, please research candidates of both parties. Although voting straight-ticket is a reliable way to vote if you're just concerned with basic principles and ideas, it's a good idea to check out who is running, what they stand for, what they have done and will do, and who they support. Remember that you're voting for many more people that just the president - think of how many people are appointed after a new president is in office! Try to watch news reports from at least 3 different news channels. They're all biased in some way. Although I am madly in love with Keith Olbermann, he is VERY liberal, and I understand that his spin on the news is not entirely reliable. Consequentially, I suffer through Jim Lehrer's boring ass and Lou Dobbs, who is possibly the whiniest man on television, haha.

Ok, I'm beginning to annoy myself with all this preaching.

Love and respect,

Political Reverend Suz

Intersession

2008-01-06T11:29:00.000-05:00

Intersession might just be the most boring time of my life. NO ONE is in Frostburg. I have NO money. I am running very low on every food item (except Ramen, which doesn't even count as food), and have no way to get to the grocery store. I have cleaned the entire house, and now I'm so bored that I'm cleaning it all again. I've watched every episode of America's Next Top Model. I've started to watch Doogie Howser reruns online. I went to bed at 7pm the other day because I had NOTHING else to do. My brain is MELTINGGGG.

The Cookes come back Monday (sheesh, not soon enough! I miss them!), and Nate should get here Wednesday-ish. I'm just trying to keep myself as occupied as possible until then. Laura's Christmas gift has STILL not come in the mail, and I'm beginning to think I got ebay scammed. If so, I will be livid. The lady said 10-20 days (it's coming from China), and it's only been a week, haha. I'm just impatient. My cousin, Michael, is moving into my house (Dayton, not Frostburg) in a week or so, and I'm very upset. I think he should give up his fancy-pants co-op job (future shmuture) and come hang out with me in the Burg. He'd hate it, but I miss him, and it's not fair that my parents get to hang out with him and I don't!

I'm so crabby this morning, I'm sorry. I just really need some money and some transportation. I need human contact (not in the touchy touchy way, guttermind, I just need someone to talk to face-to-face)!

*sigh*

Oh, fun news! Due to financial and romantic hardships, my very good friend, Abby, and I have decided to become lesbians, move to Massachusetts (yay for legal gay marriage!), get married, and raise Isabelle (her daughter) together. We will have a very nice pride flag displayed on our front porch. I'll let you know when the housewarming party is. Bring snacks; wine will be provided. Lol...we are so frustrated with being poor and being surrounded by idiotic men.

I'm going to make lunch...ravioli...MMMMM...ugh. :o(

Gus (for Andrew)

Christmas Update

2007-12-25T22:09:00.000-05:00

Michael is out of the hospital; thank God.

The Boyd family Christmas was still cancelled, but we will make it up with some big family bash in the middle of the year.

The Mangas family Christmas was a blast as usual, with 6 bajillion little tykes running around. Some are not so little, like Lacey, Jaycee, Taylor, Kobe, and Jaron, who now range from 6th to 9th grades. Sheesh, they're old! My little baby Blade is in 1st grade now, and was reading to me; he even knew words like "auditorium." Fantastic! He and I are madly in love, and he really makes family get-togethers extra-special. I played Spades with Aunt Jana, Shawna, and Tracey, and we had a blast. I even sat at the adult table for the first time. It's nice to be considered an adult after being the baby for so many years!

The holidays are supposed to be a really difficult time after a family member has died, but it was just as bustling and exciting as usual. The only bad part was when family pictures were taken. Dad was always messing with that old camera and rearranging the wiggling kids and the uncomfortable adults for the perfect family portrait. Aunt Jana took over as photographer, but it just wasn't the same. The worst part was when individual family groups had photos taken. Aunt Jean's crew had theirs taken, then the giant Estle clan, then the Mangas'. That consisted of Maryann, my step-mother, and me this year. Mike and his new fiance, Jenny, had already left, and Doug, Stephanie, Benji, Shelbi, and Jason were all missing this year. Talk about awkward. I could feel people looking at our meager picture and fighting that sad look. At least Aunt Jean had a huge family to cover up Uncle Glen's absence. She must have been having a really hard time, too.

I guess Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I'm really relieved that it's all over. I've always felt like I'm kind of the black sheep with Dad's family. I don't even know why. No one has ever shown me anything but love, but I feel different for some reason. The drive to Grandma's every year is a bit tense, but 3 seconds after I walk into the door and have ribs crushed by my army of little cousins and have 20 "SUZANNE! We're so happy to see you!"s, I wonder what I was ever nervous about. That feeling comes back every year, before every family holiday, but it just seems unfounded. Hm.

I went Christmas carolling with the (get this:) Christmas Carrollers...HA...it's a group of Carroll High School Alumni (plus one random kid), so we have named ourselves with that play on words. Cute. Anyway, it was filled with the traditional versions of many Christmas favorites and the fun, jazzy, "Doop doop, doop do do" version of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas". We were loud, sometimes off-key, and full of enough Christmas spirit to make Delilah, the Lite 99.9 all-Christmas-all-the-time station deejay, seem like the Grinch. We shared old memories, listen to Stephen Brandstetter's AWFUL jokes, and drank more cocoa than should be humanly possible.

After carolling, I met Nate Watson, and old high school friend, at Waffle House. We drank coffee and talked for 4 hours, and had a blast. He moved to Texas, and I really miss him. He said he's going to try to come visit me in Maryland during break, so I hope he is able to!

This blog was boring; I'm so sorry. I hate writing these bland update blogs, and I'm sure you hate reading them even more, but I think they're important. Aunt Jean told me today that she reads my blog, and I'm so glad. I'm able to keep people updated about things going on in my life, and I completely suck at keeping in contact with people. It's no reflection on how important they are to me...I'm just awful at it with everyone! So I apologize to those of you whom I haven't spoken to in a while. Leave comments, and let me know you're reading.

Love and Christmas spirit,

Suzanne

Nervous / Merry Christmas!

2007-12-17T19:47:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I ended with a to be continued of sorts. Sandy, Risha's mother (see archived post about Risha), called me out of the blue. She was washing dishes, and suddenly remembered that Risha used to put all of her friends' addresses and phone numbers in an old address book that was packed away in some boxes. Our phone number was in it. I am so thankful that she called. She sounds...well, she sounds like her child just died at an early age from a tragic cause. My datebook was filled to capacity, and i looked at Tuesday (tomorrow) and put a big X through everything. Some things are more important. Mom decided to go with me, so we'll be traveling to Indiana tomorrow. We'll stop by to see my Grandma Mangas, too. I just want Sandy to know that I will always be around for her when she needs me. Risha kind of pushed me away (Sandy told me she did that to all of her "decent" friends), but I see no reason to abandon her mom. I's nervous. We were raised the exact same way, and things could have very easily been the other way around. It could have been my mom who was washing dishes and wondering what went wrong. It could have been my mom who found my old address book and called Risha. Risha and her mom could have been driving to Dayton tomorow to show my mom they were still there for her after so many years. It could have gone the other way. It's just...sobering...pun certainly not intended.

I don't think I'll be posting for a while, so check back only if you're bored. I may decide to throw in a post here and there, but nothing regular. I'll be back in full swing after the New Year.

Please have a Christmas that is full of tacky, twinkly lights; carols sung loudly and off key; stomachs that are just past comfortably full; phone calls from old friends; cards from people you haven't spoken to in decades; carpets full of pine needles that just won't vacuum up; shopping trips that will make your credit card bill far too high, but the smiles of your closest friends and family members far bigger than you could have imagined; and, I do hope, church services that are so beautiful that they make your heartbeat quicken and remind you that Christmas is amazing not only because of everything I previously mentioned, but because we are lucky enough to have had a baby boy, whom we've never officially been introduced to, be born and give us all a much needed second chance.

Merry Christmas, friends and family. I love you.

P.S. Welcome to my newest reader, the amazing Miss Kristi! I hope you will be both informed and entertained!

2007-12-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

Surprisingly, I have decided to test my patience and use the computer at my parents' house. Oh my goodness. This computer is s-s-s-l-l-l-o-o-o-w-w-w!

My grades are all in, and I have all A's and B's. Bravo to me! I have a 3.588 for the semester, and a 3.468 cumulative now. I can't believe my GPA actually went up! Somehow I worked my ass off at the end and got an A in Social Policy. That clas was really tough, but I learned a lot.

So I had a doctor's appointment this morning to get tested for Cushing's Disease. You can google that. After driving around the parking lot for 20 minutes trying to find a spot, I finally found one. I put on my turn signal, ease up behind the car backing out, and politely wait. Just as I was turning into the spot, this WWI veteren (he had to be, I swear) who was at least a 105 years old gunned it, planning to ram my little Cavalier. I let him have the space. I drove around for another 10 minutes, and found the last space in the last row. *sigh* So I start to run toward the hospital (by this time I'm 13 minutes late, and they cut you out of the system after 15 mintues past your appoitnment), and slip on the ice. I fly through the air, and land with a painful *THUD* on my biscuits. Every one of the 15 or so people stared for about 30 seconds until one man said, "Uh, Ma'am, are you ok?" I replied, "Yeah, only my pride is hurt," and i continue to make a b-line toward the front door. Once I got there, I knew I'd only be about 30 seconds away from where my appointment was. Surprise, surprise, the hospital decided it was a grand time to instal 10-foot plywood blockades. Remodeling the already newly remodeled foyer was obviously at the top of the hospital's list, not salting the sidewalks or creating more parking spaces. After running all the way around the hospital, I make it to the front window at exactly 10:16. "I'm sorry, I just marked you in the computer as a no-show. You'll have to call the appointment line and make a new appointment." "But...[insert ENTIRE story here]" "Yes, but you should have been on time. I can't help you. NEEEEEEEEXT!"

Oh my goodness.

I nearly karate chopped her head off.

I felt no restraint while cursing her as I stomped out of the door and leaving a waiting room full of people with uncomfortable loks on their faces.

*Sigh*

So I have a new appointment on Thursday, and I will be leaving my house a full hour before the appointment in scheduled. Sheesh.

Risha's mother is on the phone with my mother. We haven't heard from her in at least 10 years.

I'm going to go.

I'll let you know how this works out. I wish I could hug her.

Suz.

GoodSearch

2007-12-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

I just stumbled upon this website, goodsearch.com.

You choose the charity of your choice (I chose my grade school alma mater, St. Helen), and every time you search, 1 cent is donated to them. I'm sad to see that poor little St. Helen has so far only raised less than $3.00 in 3 years, so I'm taking the time to advertise it on my blog (not that I have an astounding readership, but every little bit helps). It's through Yahoo! search, so the search is pretty good, and who doesn't want to help out just by sitting in front of the computer?

So, whether you choose St. Helen or not (I hope you do!), please use goodsearch.com for all of your internet searching needs from now on. Thanks!

Big Girl Job in Boston?

2007-12-10T15:16:00.000-05:00

I was checking my email, and I received an e-newsletter from CommonGoodCareers.org. I signed up with them when I went to the Idealist conference in Chicago (again, a BIG thank you to Doug for funding that trip. It was amazing!). They are a nonprofit career website, including career development, job listings, and interesting new information related to the field. One of the jobs recently posted was with Horizons for Homeless Children. It's an organization that provides services to homeless children and their families. They have preschools/daycare centers only for homeless kids, and they also have PlayPlaces, which give kids a safe place for them to play. Playing is so key to proper development, and I love what this organization does! They even help older homeless kids get through the college application process, which is terrifying and overwhelming for any kid. The position I applied for is the Events and Donor Relations Manager. I would be focusing only on fundraising events and donor cultivation, which are my 2 favorite parts of development. I had Laura and Andrew both spruce up my cover letter and resume, and I fixed them up a few more times, so they should be in pretty good shape. The frustrating thing about resumes is that they're never perfect. So I emailed those out to the contact person for the job, and I'll call on Wednesday to make sure she received it. I'm so nervous and excited! I've always been one to think 10 steps ahead, so it's hard not to get my hopes up. Wish me luck!

Suzanne M. Mangas,
Big Girl Job Getter.

Worst Blogger Ever

2007-12-08T11:19:00.000-05:00

Everyone has his/her faults; I have many. My most obvious one to you, my deservedly not-so-loyal readers, is that I am a terrible blogger. Every time I post, I promise that I will be a better blogger. I promise to update you nearly daily. I promise to give you interesting stories. I fail. I lie. I am truly sorry.

On with the blog:

Vagina Monologue rehearsals are not a source of fun stories. We don't even rehearse. We make vaginas out of construction paper and glitter. My vagina wears a pink, sparkly tutu and a Cubs hat. Weird.

Classes are finished, and exam week is all that stands between be and my 15-day Christmas vacation. I have to take intersession courses to get back on track for graduation, and I'll be in the Burg on January 1st. LAME!

I checked my Chemistry grade today, which was posted outside of the lab. I have to take the final to get an A in the class; moreover, I have to get a 95.5% on the final to get that A. I will studying ALL weekend for that exam. If I get a B in a 4-credit class, I can certainly kiss graduating cum laude goodbye. I'm already barely hanging on with 0.04 of a point above the minimum. I keep saying that I don't care, and that I just want to graduate, but I'm so pissed that a year full of tragedy effed up my GPA like that. Looking back, I know I handled it well, but I watched one semester tank my 3.6 GPA down to a 3.44. Speaking of my unfathomably shitty year, let me give you a rundown by month:

January: Dad died
March: Uncle Glen died
August: Ivan and I broke up (I consider this a personal tragedy, so it is included in my list)
November: Risha, my childhood best friend died
December: Michael, my cousin with whom I am very close, was hospitalized with a very serious condition (this is still going on)

GAHHHHHH!

2007 has a new motto for me:

2007: Keep On Suckin'

I wish I could put my cleverness to better use.

Now for the serious part of the blog, the part that will certainly make me cry while writing it:

My friend, Phil, asked me the the other day if I would spend one more day with my dad if I could. The answer that I was supposed to give was, "oh, no, it would only be a tease, blah blah blah." That's what he said about his father. But I really would spend another day with him. We'd go fishing. I'd spend the entire day cracking jokes with him, and eating sandwiches by the pond. I'd tell him what a great man he is. Some people are just naturally great people. They just seem to have this light around them that shines onto everyone else, and never have anything negative inside them. My dad had to work to become that kind of person; he worked damn hard, too. He was the first to admit he didn't live his life in the best way, and didn't treat people the way he should have. But he recognized that, and worked hard to change it. He became one of those people with the light around them. I am so proud of him. I never told him, either. We were never alone, and that's not the kind of thing you say around other people. I wish I had just told him, "Hey, Dad, let's go to lunch alone." I would take that last day with him, and spend the entire time telling him how much I love him. I didn't always love him. I was a bitter, angry little girl, and harbored a lot of hatred for him inside. I had to work that out, too. My Dad's death was so hard because we didn't always have a strong relationship; we had to work for ours. I really only loved hanging out with my dad a few years before he died. I just got something, and it was taken away. I hate that. I just hope that people in heaven pay attention to stuff that happens down here. I hope he hears me when I pray. I hope he's reading over my shoulder as I type this and is smiling. I just hope he knows that I loved him sooo much, and still do. I hope he knows that I am proud of who he became and how hard he worked to become that. I hope he knows that I don't hold any of that childhood crap against him. I hope he will watch me graduate this Spring. I hope he's feeling that same thing that I am, that he's screaming inside his head, wishing I could hear, "I LOVE YOU, TOO! I'M PROUD OF YOU, TOO!" If nothing else, I hope we share that feeling.

Yeah, I cried. Told ya.

Love,

Suzanne Marie Mangas
Wannabe Blogger Extraordinaire

Sigh

2007-11-20T08:46:00.000-05:00

Risha Danielle Pratt, 21, died Tuesday, November 13, 2007.

That's pretty much all the obituary said. I looked at the other obituaries of the various Ediths and Joes and Betsys. They were all at least 70. Their obituaries mentioned how they enjoyed pot-luck dinners, croquet, and going to the park with their grandchildren. Risha's never mentioned anything she liked. She only liked drugs. That defined who she was, and it killed her. She overdosed and died. She died on a Tuesday. A Tuesday?! Why did she not have anything better to do on a Tuesday night than do enough drugs to kill her? Why wasn't she watching reruns of Full House? Why wasn't she doing laundry? Why wasn't she doing anything that the rest of the country does on a Tuesday night? I just wish that if she had to die, it would've been on a Saturday night. We used to make up dance routines to TLC's "Waterfalls" and perform them for my mom--over and over and over again. We'd get halfway through, and fall down from giggling so hard, and try it again. We used to play Barbies. We spent hours dreaming of being teenagers (the coolest people on the planet). We'd exchange clothes, and in the spirit of the divorce generation, "share custody" of some outfits. Why am I in college and she's in the grave? What happened? When did we become such different people?

Dad died in January.
Uncle Glen died in March.
Ivan and I broke up in August.
Risha died in November.

This year sucks.

Fuck 2007.

In response so L.B., your little brother was great! Abundance was a really cute play. It was sort of like Desperate Prairiewives. Nice night out.

And please come to Vagina Monologues! It should be really good!

-Suzanne

Ok, ok, I Need to Update...

2007-11-18T10:19:00.000-05:00

So, I've been slacking. I understand. But think of it this way: since I've slacked for 2 weeks, I'll have lots of stuff to tell you!

Vagina Monologues:
I'm in it! I'm SOOOO excited! I auditioned for the Vagina That Loved to Please Women, and I got it! VM will be February 15 and 16 here in Frostburg, so be sure to make the drive! The show is an amazing experience, especially for women, and my house is big enough to hold many people! Our couches are very comfy, and the floors aren't bad either.

Giving Blood:
Oh. My. Goodness. I felt queasy-pass-outty for 2 days! Yuck! I was terrified to give blood (because when I get blood taken, I feel like I'm going to pass out and throw up, and that's only when they take a couple of vials!), but when the Red Cross lady told me I was saving 3 different people's lives with one bag of blood, I felt way better. It brought a lot of perspective to it. It's difficult to have a pint of blood drained from your body when the only reward people talk about is a free ipod cover. Sheesh. But I survived, and now I'm feeling fine, aside from a big bruise on my inner elbow.

College Bowl:
College Bowl is a trivia game (like Jeopardy!) that is the collegiate version of Quiz Bowl in high school (you know, that show where all the nerdy kids went on public access television and answered random questions). I was the captain of Team SGA (woo hoo!). We beat the UPC (University Programming Council) team by a bajillion and two points, and then we faced Team Asshole. I forget their team name, but they were awfully mean and even more unattractive. They had won the last 3 years (oh! bow down! ugh...), and thought they were hot shizz. Well, Team SGA gave them a run for their money, but in the end, we were defeated. They were 4 guys from Pi Lambda Phi fraternity, and let me tell you, they were the opposite of the stereotypical frat boys. Overweight, sloppy, poor dental hygeine, hillbilly stoner kids with no sense of sportsmanship. Their frat brothers were even whispering answers from the back (although many were wrong answers)! Ugh, I get so heated thinking about it! But Team SGA has BLAST, and we are confident in our trivia skills...good luck to Pi Lambda Phi the next time the want funding from our senate! Juuuuust kidding...I'm ethical...but I really don't want to be, lol!

Weeds:
The season finale of Weeds is this Monday, and I'm so sad! It's a great show, and the only dramatic cliff-hanger type of show I've ever bothered to follow. Greatstufftv.com lets me access it for free (because I'm too cheap to buy Showtime to watch it), and I'm hoping I can find another show to become addicted to!

Lucy:
This gorgeous little girl is almost crawling! She's doing this goofy rock/bounce thing on her knees, like she allllmost has it figured out. I'm so excited for her to learn something so important!

Love Life:
...still lame, haha!

School:
I have to be back in Frostburg by Jan 2 (so I'll arrive here New Year's Day, yuck!) for intercession. If I don't take a couple of classes during the winter break, I'll be cramming them in next semester, and who wants to do that?! So I will officially graduate May 17, 2008 at 2:00pm (I looked up the time). Ladies and gentlemen, watch out! This girl's on a mission to save the world and she's college educated! Just try and stop her!

I apologize for my terrible blogging skills lately, but school has been kicking my butt! Senior year was supposed to be a slack off year, but it certainly isn't. I'm going to work very hard at keeping up, especially now that Vagina Monologues rehearsals are beginning (the first one is tonight), and I'm sure I'll have a million hilarious stories from that. Anytime you get a group of girls together and make them discuss uncomfortable topics like vaginas, some great stories are bound to come out of that.

I love you all, and thanks to the person who commented to force me to blog again!

SuzzyQ-BabyILoveYou! (a tribute to Miss Sarah Amedoro, who always sings "baby, I love you" after saying my name)

Johari Window

2007-10-25T08:30:00.001-04:00

I clicked on a link in my friend's buddy info on him AIM profile, and it took me to a Johari Window. It instructed me to chose 5-6 personality traits I thought best described him. After that, it showed me a window, combing my answer with those answers of other people who had filled it out for him, and also with his answers for himself. It created a grid, showing what trait he thought he had, which ones he knew about and that others agreed with, which ones he kept hidden from others, and which ones he didn't realize he had. It was so cool! So I'm going to put a link to it below, and then a link to the final product. No fair clicking on the grin one first, you need to fill it out! It only takes a minute or so, so do it! After you fill mine out, make one for yourself and post the link in a comment. :o)

Fill out my Johari Window

Then, see the results

P.S. I get to go HOME this weekend!!!!!

For Erin

2007-10-17T16:29:00.000-04:00

Erin, here is your blog:

Here is a series of entertaining things that happened to me today:

1. This morning, after showering, I was flipping my hair over to spritz some curl definer in my hair. I misjudged how close I was to this wire rack thing I have in my room, and clocked myself in the head so hard that I fell over. I cried while laughing.

2. Jamerson, this kid I worked with at Freedom School text messaged me. I haven't heard from him since I fed him a very lame excuse to avoid going on a date (it wasn supposed to be friends going to get something to eat, then it got all creepy and date-ish, so I canceled last minute). My Social Policy class took about 15 minutes to discuss ways to blow him off without making it awkward in case we work together again next summer.

3. I got my Social Policy midterm back with a note that said, "Suzzy- your passion is wonderful, but calling someone a 'stupid, soulless asshole with no morals' isn't the style of writing that will be effective in policy analysis discussions, no matter how true it may be." HAHA, I love Kathy Powell

4. I was decorating the windows in the SGA office with window paint. The white one wouldn't work very well, so I gave it a squeeze. Perhaps it was a very firm squeeze. The spongy top came off, shooting white paint all over the window, Brandon's desk, and me. my jeans are white; very white.

5. A guy in my ballet class informed me that he was looking forward to the SGA mixer because he could dance with me and "rub up on that big ol' white girl booty." Hm. I'll keep you posted on my new creepster ballerina friend.

I'm now taking applications for a videographer. You must follow me around, constantly recording me on video. When something rediculous happens, I will send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos (or a similar competition), and I will split the winnings with you (80% / 20%, of course). Erin, I expect the application with a sample of your video recording work, as well as a 200-word essay entitled "100 Reasons Why I Love Suzzy and Want to Be Her," within the next 7-10 business days. You will be paid in Oreos. You'll like that....fatass. LOVE YOU!

-Suzerrific

Love? Think. Comment. Let's Dialogue.

2007-10-13T19:04:00.000-04:00

I'm beginning this post without really knowing what it's about. I'm just in one of those write-about-something moods, I guess.

I'm nearly halfway through Jonathan Safran Foer's first book (he edited one before, but this is his first novel), Everything is Illuminated. You may have heard of the movie; if you haven't, rent it. I'd like to suggest the book to you, but no one seems to make time for fiction novels. I certainly do. In the book, there are a couple of quotes that I love:

"...and everything was held up as another small piece of proof that i can be this way, it doesn't have to be that way; if there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like diamond falling to a jeweler's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does (p. 82)."

and also:

"And when she said, Father, I love you, she was neither naive nor dishonest, but the opposite: she was wise and truthful enough to lie (p. 83)."

I am not sure why the first quote strikes me the way it does, but...it does. The second, however, is possibly the most painfully honest line in any book I have ever read. So often, we lie to people because we love them...or perhaps because we don't. Do we even know what love is? It's so complicated when we break it down (or build it up, or stack it sideways, or diagonally, or whichever way we create our notions of love). The entire relationship between the characters of that father and daughter (He is not biologically her father; he took her in right after she was born, when he was in his seventies, because her parents were killed in an accident. He never told her) was made up of a muddled notion of love. Love was never found between the two, but instead, they loved the idea of loving one another. Is that what love is? Are we all just really in love with loving others? It's something to think about. I'm not saying that love doesn't exist, but with what are we in love? Perhaps we are all just in love with love instead of people. This is not to sound callous; I am in no way saying I do not love my family and friends. I'm just thinking, and I hope I have inspired you to do the same.

From my unclear beginning, I think I'm satisfied with the finished post. I hope you are, too.

Comment. I know you read it, so leave me your thoughts.

- le suz

today's the day!

2007-10-12T07:50:00.000-04:00

So...today's the day of my big exciting event! I can't talk about it on here, because I am learning I have far more readers than I thought, and some (one) of those readers can't know about my big exciting event! I will, however, post an update on how it went on Sunday or Monday.

SHEEEEEEEESH I'm stoked!!!!!!

Ugh, so those of you who know what it is, don't ruin it and call that person (obviously, for those of you who have that person's number).

By the way, I finally put in my new belly ring. I thought it would be horrible and painful, but it just slipped right in! I know it takes a about a year for navel piercings to heal, but I think my tension ring had these scratches in it that irritated the piercing. But it's super cute! It's silver with a little light green jewel at the top and a bigger one on the bottom. It's very classic, which is what I wanted. I hate those huge, dangly, bling bling bullcraps with Playboy bunnies and other stupid things hanging down to my crotch. They look trashy.

In other news, the old lady I bought my poncho from at the Burlington Apple Festival delivered it to my house yesterday. I paid her more than she asked (she custom made it for me, made me extra stuff, AND delivered it to my house within a week!), and she got this teary-eyed thank you look in her eyes. Holy cow, I love old people! She said she simply couldn't take it, so I told her to put it in the collection plate at church on Sunday (she looked like a church lady). She was so cute and gave me a big hug and told me she'd pray for me. It makes me want to hand out $20s to every old lady I see. The poncho's kinda nerdy, but with the right outfit, I could rock it. Right now, I just wear it around the house. I LOVE this thing; it's like a blanket that I don't have to hold around myself! Genius!

Mr roommate, Kelly, keeps coming in here to ask about citation in APA format. She's cracking me up. I really love doing that type of stuff. Aside from making people smile, editing is my favorite thing to do. I'm really good at it, and not many people are, I'm finding. I figured writing a paper was the easier thing in the world for everyone to do, but I guess it's a skill a lot of people haven't really honed. I love all things regarding language; I get excited about speech, fiction writing, professional writing, and especially ripping someone's paper apart with a red pen in my hand. It's a kind of thrill that I don't get from doing anything else. I'm glad I'll be able to help people (my first and greatest passion and love), while writing and editing all the time (my second greatest passion and love). I'll have to write and edit grants throughout my career, which is a valuable skill to have. A lot of organizations would pay pretty much anything to have a quality grant-writer on staff.

Ok, I think I'm going to shower, do my nails, and, weather-pending, straighten my hair. I'm going to have to look cute tonight (par-tay!), so I'll have to check to see the frizz factor before I devote 45 minutes to straightening my hair, only to have it wave back up the second I step outside.

Until next time, keep those spirits up and smiles on!

XOXO,

Suzanne Marie

* Ohio is Klassy *

2007-10-08T16:35:00.000-04:00

Yes, Ohio is by far the klassiest of all the 47 states...oh...I mean 50.

Jesus Lord above, please grant me the patience to deal with those people who destroy every effort I have made in the past 4 years to convince non-buckeyes that Ohio is a great, with-it sort of place. None of that crazy, trashy, hillbilly type of crap.

Let me explain my frustration. I arrived home on a sunny and abnormally warm October day (today), and I discovered an email from my dear friend Laura entitled, "Ohio...". I was very excited until I opened the email and it said "is KLASSY!". Oh, dear. There was also a link to a news article describing the wedding of a Springfield couple who married in...WAL MART! Jeez, fellow Ohioans, can we please keep the weird weddings out of the news?

Here's a rundown of weddings in Ohio I have recently heard about:
1. walmart wedding
2. camo wedding, complete with a camouflage bride's dress
3. taxidermy wedding. yes. like dead, stuffed animals. squirrels and shit. wow.

I'm not telling people to marry in churches with linen tablecloths and white dresses. I'm just asking that these awkward, ridiculous, backwoods weddings remain lost to the rest of the nation except by an accidental Google images search. Ohio IS a pretty progressive, metropolitan place, I promise!

Please post thoughts, because I'm sure you have some.

School is Hard. The Weekend Will be Fun. Dating is LAME.

2007-10-03T19:10:00.000-04:00

I got a 75% on my Social Policy outline. This is because 2 of the girls in my group are complete idiots. They're not your average "I left my purse on top of the car and drove away" types. They decided to NOT cite sources, which in college, is a death sentence for grades (and perhaps an expulsion form the school). I wanted to kick them in the shins. Because of their idiocy (and because of my time crunch to not be able to fix it before we turned it all in), we got a C. I am PEEVED!

My Human Resources Management test was great. I got a 92, and didn't study! Before you say, "sheesh, Suz, why didn't you study? That's awful," I left my notebook in another class over the weekend and didn't have anything to study from. In my opinion, if I don't have to study to get an A, why bother? I have a huge take-home midterm for Social Policy due Monday, and I'm terrified. I am soooo lost!

I will be in West Virginia Friday and Saturday for the Apple Festival. Laura is selling these super cute onesies and toddler tshirts (Click here for the website! ), and she has a booth at the festival. It's her first time selling beyond the website, so it's a big step. Go Laura! I've spent countless hours getting ready for this thing, so you can how hard poor Laura has been working on it.

Ok, so there was this handsome kid named Elliott in my Business Ethics class. He's all about saving the world and social equality and stuff. Hot. I was brave enough to suggest we have a coffee date, and he replies, "I'm kinda involved with someone right now." First, how can someone be KINDA involved? Second, dating is sooooo lame. It's really impossible, I've determined.

Here's my breakdown of the dating scene:
70% of guys are idiots, jerks, sluts, or some combination of those characteristics.
Of the remaining 30%, 20% are in a relationship and 5% are gay.
That leaves me just 5% of the male population in the proper age group who are even worth having a conversation with, let alone date. How can a girl be expected to sift through all the crap to find Mr. Right?

Screw it, I'm just focusing on what I need to focus on, and maybe I'll just search for Mr. Right NOW!

2007-09-30T14:08:00.000-04:00

Social Policy is killing me. Anyone know anything about policy analysis?

Shoot
me
in
the
face.

Is it May yet?

IMPORTANT AMENDMENT

2007-09-25T21:12:00.000-04:00

It is of utmost importance that I correct my favorite books comment.

My favorite FICTION novels are The Grapes of Wrath, followed by Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

HOWEVER

The greatest book of all time is......................

Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss.

Oh my goodness, it's an amazing expression of my soul. I am obsessed. It's a grammar and punctuation book. *sigh* If I could meet Lynne Truss, I'd probably kiss her right on her British mouth; that;s how much I love her. Haha, really.

That is my only amendment, and I couldn't have just edited the post. It deserved its own post.

Sincerely,

The Suz

My Posts are Becoming Scattered and Boring. I'll Try to Fix It.

2007-09-25T20:37:00.000-04:00

In Chemistry class today, we discussed light. Color doesn't exist in a dark room. Did you know that? To me, that's completely mind-blowing. Color only exists because light exists; therefore, take away light, and you take away color. I don't like knowing that when I go to bed at night, all the amazing colors that make up this world just don't exist. It seems to me that it's a bit like the ostrich with its head in the sand. Chemistry. Psh. Dumb.

Laura called today. She's back home in Havre de Grace (is that how you spell it?) because her sister just gave birth to Lilly Ann. Supposedly she incredibly adorable with curly black hair and little Asian eyes. I'm excited to see pictures. Although spending so much time with Lucy has seriously deterred me from wanting kids of my own within the next decade, I still think they are so freaking cute...in pictures...not crying...and not vomiting all over my nice jeans. Yuck. She'll be back next week, and I can't wait to see her again! I feel a bit incomplete when I can't walk to Mechanic Street for dinner and some Q.T. with the Cookes (watching Andrew play the Wii and shake his head at Laura and me as we gossip and giggle and Lu spits up all over me).

I called Grandma this morning. I slipped on the dewy grass on this hill to get to campus and face-planted. I slid alllllll the way down this hill, and got grass stains on my breakup jeans (the very expensive and very nice jeans that make my butt look great that I bought after the breakup: hence, my breakup jeans, haha). I called her in a tizzy asking what to do to keep it from setting in while I sat through classes until 3pm. She wasn't sure what to do except hope and make sure to pretreat when I got home with some OxyClean (I have none). At least the jeans are a really dark wash, so it's not that noticeable.

I need to start reading my new book (it's not so new anymore, I got it 2 weeks ago and haven't picked it up since). It's by the same author as new new second-favorite book (next to John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, of course), Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Jonathan Safran Foer is amazing. This new one is Everything is Illuminated, which was made into a movie a few years ago; you may have seen it. It's about a young Jewish man who collects memories of his family: dirt, photographs, watches, etc. He suspects that a woman in a photograph with his grandfather was the woman who saved him from being killed during the Holocaust. He goes back to the Ukraine, where his grandfather was from, and searches for the woman. It's really an amazing movie, but I've heard, like so many other book/movie combos, that the book is much better. I highly recommend Mr. Foer, so go pick up one of his books!

Ok, I'm off to do some homework.

-Suz the Great

Swallow Falls

2007-09-22T21:15:00.000-04:00

Today my roommates, Star and Eric from the other side of our duplex, Star's mother and little brother, her mother's boyfriend, and Jenna from 2 doors down (she's Sean's, also from the other side of our duplex, girlfriend) went to Swallow Falls near Deep Creek. Whew, that's a lot of explaining for one group! I climbed all over the rocks, swam a little (more like waded in the 2 foot water), and lay in the waterfall. After we played for a while, we went to this place called Smiley's. It's like a backwoods crap version of Chuck E. Cheese, but with disgusting pizzas that cost twice as much as anywhere else. I played a ton of skeeball and tried the batting cages. I am not a baseball player. The ball was pitched so that a 6-year old could knock it out of the park, but I still couldn't quite get enough force behind it. Good thing I have a sense of humor. I just shook my booty everywhere and looked as ridiculous as possible to try to make the people behind me laugh a little.

Warren visited for a few minutes today, and it was positively delightful. I miss him sooooo much! Graduation sucks if I'm not the one doing it! He said I looked really happy and that he was proud of me. He's such a sugar dumplin'. He's coming back up for Homecoming, which is in just a couple of weeks, and said we'd make a date.

HA! For anyone who heard the Tom story (Andrew's friend he tried to set me up with): he wants to meet me again. Is this man a glutton for punishment? My loud and angry "how do you sleep at night?!" wasn't enough to scare him off? So weird... But yeah, he wants to meet again, and I don't think it's wise. He can't explain the ethics of his job to me, and I can't ever waste my time with someone who has flexible ethics because the paycheck pacifies those icky "I'm a bad person" feelings. Yuck.

I am officially on a diet. Laura and I are working at it together, and we're going to lose 25 pounds by December 15. I have no clue why December 15, but she chose the date, haha. No more sweets, no more excessive alcohol, and no more cream-based soups (which is my big calorie killer). We are going to be walking nearly every night (Sundays off!), and hopefully I'll get my chubby little behind back in shape! When Ivan and I broke up, I sort of gave myself a strict therapy regimen of Chardonnay and Totino's frozen pizzas (Jacquie: Thanks for constantly weighing 110 pounds and letting me gain it all, despite alllllways splitting the bottles and pizzas with me! You're the best! Ugh...) So, hopefully I can get back to a normal size...or at least a pre-breakup size!

My sorority, the great and wonderful Kappa Delta, got 10 new girls this fall! Word on the street is, I might have a new Triplet and/or a new Niece! That's exciting! Our family, which Lindsey (my Big) and I once thought was just we two, is now growing so quickly! I love Katie (my Twin), and I can't wait for our family to add even more amazing KD ladies!

Ok, that's all for now. Mom called me today and said she read the blog, so it's giving me hope that at least someone is still reading.

Love you all!

Suz

Random Updates of My Life Happenings

2007-09-19T01:19:00.000-04:00

So Warren gets here on Friday, and I haven't seen him since last Spring. We were on staff together last year for the RA thing, and became the very closest of friends. I am sooooo excited to see him again, even if he's only staying in the burg for a few hours. His goddaughter's 1st birthday party is Saturday afternoon, so I understand that that's more important.

School is going pretty well. My Social Policy class is really challenging and a lot of work, but it's the most relevant course I've had so far to what I want to be when I grow up and jump into the big girl world. We have this semester-long project (GAG!) analyzing a current social policy, and I chose S-CHIP, which is State Children's Health Insurance Program. We lobbied in Columbus this summer with Freedom School, and I really believe in the policy. Google it. I has been in place for the last 10 years, and expires September 30. It's a huge deal! It provides health insurance for children whose families are above the poverty line (kids below qualify for Medicaid) up to 300% above, but whose families still can't afford health insurance on their own. S-CHIP is the cement that fills the crack that kids keep falling through. Anyway, I'm very excited because I (along with 4 other people I recruited to do the project with me) are analyzing a very relevant policy about which I am very passionate. That makes for some mighty good learnin'!

SGA is kiiiiiiilling me! The Student Affairs Chair before me left me nothing to figure out what and how the hell I'm supposed to do anything. I just found out that I have to plan a mixer (dance type thing) for Homecoming. I need to turn in the risk management form 3 weeks ahead (it's 4 weeks away), and I have to meet with 3 different and very busy people before I can turn it in! AHHHHH! I am putting together a VERY detailed binder for my successor. This is such crap and I won't do it to the next person just because it takes a little more time and effort.

Little Lu and I are very best friends. She's huge now, and just yaps all the time. It's all incomprehensible, but she sure has a lot to say. Everytime she sees me, she gets a huge grin on her face. Well, I get a huge grin when I see her, too. We're in looooove, haha. She also has this very strange reaction to me: she spits up if I even touch her. At first, I thought it was a cute accident. Then, it came to the point where I'd touch her arm and BBBLLLEEEHHHH all over. I started bringing a jacket everytime I visited. I think it has slowed down now, but for a while, I thought, Jeez, I wonder if I have this effect on everyone. Haha.

I'm excited to graduate! Ugh, I'm starting to get Senioritis. My mantra is quickly becoming "C's get degrees," which is awful....but very true. GPA matters in high school. It SEEMS to matter in college. Then...you realize it's a VERY small 3 numbers on a resume that is greatly outshined by everything else down the page. Ah, well. I will still succeed and keep high goals in my mind. I'll just be happy with the B instead of the A this year!

Ok, leave comments and love.

The Return

2007-08-24T16:33:00.000-04:00

I am back at Frostburg. Let's procede with the updates:

SCHOOL: I am a senior (hopefully graduating on time). I am no longer a resident assistant, but have been appointed to the Student Affairs Chair position in Student Government Association. I live off-campus with 3 great girls, Carolyn, Kelly, and Jessie. I love them to death.

PERSONAL: Ivan and I broke up. I don't want to talk about it, so don't say anything. That's about it for that.

SUMMER: I worked with a shcolastic summer program called Freedom Schools. Google it. It was life-changing. I really hope they hire me again next summer before I start whatever big girl job I may have. I miss my baby-children terribly and can't wait to see them again next year!

This is a short post, but I will stay updated regularly now that I have internet and am back at school. Leave comments and show the love!

Rate Your Students and My Personal Rant

2007-05-25T09:48:00.000-04:00

I have recently stumbled upon another blog, Rate Your Students. It is a blog which serves as a bitchfest of sorts for disgruntled professors. It speaks of the frustrations of the educational bureaucracy, lazy students, and the true lack of adequate pay. I am in love. I also can't stand the b.s. that is the U.S. educational system. I am also driven to complete insanity by the kid in the back who not only doesn't read or study, but spends the first half hour of the class time I am paying a bajillion dollars for screaming about how he didn't deserve the failing grade he earned on the last exam. Really? You didn't deserve that? Oh, yes. I studied and earned an A...so did the girl next to me. Hm, it seems that most people here have As or Bs. The test was easy, kid, I'm sorry the scantron machine must have broken riiiight as your scantron sheet went through. I can stand these awful drains on Mommy and Daddy's checking account about as much as a full force kick in the teeth by non other than the great Chuck Norris. I will now present a bulleted list for those people who drive me crazy.

ATTENTION WASTES OF SPACE:

Suck it up, you're in college. High school is required by law until you turn 16, so it can't be too hard. College is a CHOICE! It is supposed to be difficult! You are not forced to be here, so if you don't like it, get the hell out and stop giving me (a sort of joke as it may be) competition in the job market. You are devaluing that little piece of paper I get when I cross the stage. A bachelor's degree used to mean something; now it's the new high school diploma because you and your waste-of-space counterparts made a few jokes throughout the semester to befriend the teacher, and s/he feels bad failing "such a nice boy." You're not nice, you're a manipulative asshole who will continue to be a manipulative asshole the rest of your days. I hate you a lot, and I strongly feel that you should pay for my master's degree since your laziness has so devalued my bachelor's degree. Ass.
"But this isn't a writing class" is NOT an excuse for incomprihensible writing. Grammar and punctuation are integral parts of the English language, and you are not above the rules of the language you have chosen to communicate with. I'd suggest you find another language to try, but I don't want to plague another language with your idiocy.
If it is answered on the syllabus or on the paper right in front of your face, do NOT ask the question.
Do not disagree with everything the professor the or the reading says. It doesn't make you look smart; it wastes classtime. You can't formulate an educated opinion, and everyone stares at you with the "shut up" look, so please...shut up.
Don't ask me to edit your paper at 11pm the night before it is due. It's just plain rude. First, I have to fix all the punctuation and grammar mistakes. Then I need a newly printed copy with corrections made; I can't read a paper with so much red covering the words. I then have to decipher the steaming pile of crap you smeared on a Word document to find some sort of intelligent and coherant thought. From that glimmer of hope, I have to rebuild your entire paper. That's a few hours of work, and yes, you do owe me a gigantic favor or $20. Look, kid, you were going to fail...not kinda fail...REALLY fail. I brought your grade up to a C, and it's the best you can hope for. You didn't use an outline, you quoted whole paragraphs to fill up space, and you completely avoided all creativity and critical thinking or analysis. It's common curtosy to slip that "paper" under my door by 6pm; I'll have a long night ahead of me.
Feel free to make fun of me for getting As. I work my cute little ass off for them, and when it comes to graduation, I'll be looking like a freaking Christmas tree because I'll have so many cords and medals to visually say to you "Ha! I worked harder, and employers are lining up to hire someone who knows that staying up late to finish a 10-page paper is way more rewarding that staying up late to see if I can do a 15-seconds keg stand. Don't get me wrong, it's not about partying; I can do that pretty well, too. It's about priorities, and I'm sorry you are spending four years here and missing that whole "adulthood" thing.

Ok, a little harsh, but the Rate Your Students blog really put me in the mood to complain about this I personally can't stand. Anyway, read the blog, you'll love it! Hey, Ma, at least you know you're making an investment!

Sigh I Have Survived

2007-05-24T13:11:00.000-04:00

Life is settling down, and it hasn't come a moment too soon. Most of the residents are gone, with the exception of the graduates who will be out of here by saturday afternoon. I actually got to sleep in this morning, then go to the mall with Laura and Lu. I got to play the snuggly aunt and tote her around to all the stores. I love carrying cute babies around; everyone gets jealous because they can't snuggle such an adorable little creature. Again, I felt the incredible power of making a child stop crying and fall asleep. It was amazing. I bought a very cute summer dress and tube top that actually fit! They were both on sale, and I got to use the $30 from book buyback that was burning a hole in my pocket. Book buyback is always used for end-of-the-year fun money. I work my buns off all semester long to earn the right to spend those few dollars on something entirely selfish and fun. No practical spending allowed! I figure I'm very good with finances, and almost always spend wisely, so I can afford to splurge a little at the end.

My boss from my summer job called yesterday to tell me my first day is on Tuesday at 10am. I get to sleep in on my first day of work! Nice! It's basically just to get a lot of paperwork finished, get fingerprinted, and get some last minute details together before training.

I need to clean my room today. This semester has been absolutely insane, and I don't think it's been clean but maybe a total of 2 weeks this entire time. I know I'll leave it until tomorrow, but I'm a step closer by just committing it to the to-do list.

I can't wait until next year! I'm taking Chemistry and Society, and that should be difficult but fun. I'm also taking some of the random elective I need to get out of here. I have worked very hard for my requirements, and now I have room to play. I'm taking Jewelry Making, Intro to Acting, and Ballet I. I have no experience with jewelry making or ballet, but I know they'll be fun. I'm most excited about the only spring semester class I've already decided on: Editing and Production. It's a class entirely comprised of editing writing and learning the absolutly newest grammar and punctuation rules. It's nerdy, but it's kinda my thaaaang. :o)

This semester was awful; personally, professionally, and scholastically, my life fell apart. I am proud of the way I've handled it with grace and a usually calm demeanor. Some would disagree, but I think that I kept my head quite well most times. I miss my dad, I still can't stand my supervisor, and my cumulative GPA fell faster than a man in a barrel over Niagra Falls; however, I have one more guardian angel, I have learned how to keep my mouth shut when I need to, and I still have a shot at graduating with honors. I have learned so much this semester. I have become so much stronger. I have grown up. When did that happen? I am coming into the point in my life when I almost always refer to myself as a "woman." I am now becoming very comfortable with being a woman. I'm comfortable with my wide hips, my bad hair days, my checkbook balancing skills, my handle on my credit score (which is very good!), and the various other things that come with being an adult female. It's a rather intimidating process, and I have many scarier things ahead, as I have learned through Laura's whole baby thing...that is just...nuts.

Ok, I've yammered on enough. I'm going to open up my window wide and sing some Joni Mitchell at the top of my lungs. No residents are here to tell me to shut up!

As always, thanks for reading, and don't forget to comment!

-The Suz

Babies...I Quite Like Them

2007-05-19T23:19:00.000-04:00

I hung out with Laura-Love, Boss-Man, and Little Lucy Goose this evening. Important things first:

She pooped on me.

Projectile poop.

She was completely adorable the whole time, and kept giving me half smiles as she shot out brown liquid from her tiny little butt. Sheesh. God made babies cute because they're disgusting. Grown-ups would never care for them if they weren't so warm and snuggly.

Andrew finally emailed me pictures of me and LuGirl. They're awesome. I'm still trying to figure out how to post picture within a post, but I'll ask Laura about it later. I love to hold her. I made her fall asleep today, and swaddled the crap outta her. Laura says I'm a champion swaddler. Holding babies and making them not cry makes me feel more feminine, as if I'm using a talent or skill that was instilled in me at birth.

I'm glad I'm so close to Lucy. I never got to be very close to Chanler of Chalsie, my youngest nephew and niece. I wish I had been able to build a close relationship with them, but college and silly family spats has made that difficult--impossible, rather. I'm taking out all my pent up love, attention, and money on Lucy.

Yeah, I've dropped fat cash on this kid...she's so spoiled by Aunt Suz.

I'm excited for my friends to start having babies. It's fun! I'm not personally ready for such a life altering gift from God, but snuggling other people's life altering gifts is wonderful!

On another note, I feel MUCH better! I think I was at the brink of death with my illness, but after a very personal ER visit with a burly Russian doctor and a bottle of Percocet, I'm feeling dandy. In my self-soothing, I drank all my yummy organic chocolate milk and pineapple juice, and now I'm out of tasty beverages. I may treat myself to a Mountain Dew tonight before bed.

In my Percocet haze, I missed my Econ exam. I thought it was Friday, and the professor thought it was Thursday. Oops. He's letting me make it up on Monday (Good Lord bless him!). The report that was due in business writing was late. My professor emailed me asking where it was after it was due and not in her inbox. I explained my near death illness and she gave me a 2-day extention. It was a steaming pile of crap in a Word document. She gave me a 69% on it, the lowest grade possible to give me a 79.6% in the class, rounding up to a B. She's forgiving, I certainly deserved less.

I keep wanting to beat myself up over this semester, but I am so proud of myself. My grades...are frighteningly terrible; however, after the death of two of the greatest men in my life, a terrible illness during finals week, a semester-long battle with a terrible boss with no soul, and the most difficult class schedule of my college career, I'm proud that I have come out on the other end, a little stronger. My room's a mess, my GPA's a little shaken, and I feel like a small piece of me has been torn away these past few months, but I have survived it all. I have started a blog and kept it relatively current, so this is one good thing that has come out of this semester. My relationship with Ivani is stronger than ever. I have a beautiful new niece who smiles at only a week or so old (she's a baby genius, I'm convinced). I have amazing friends. I turn 21 very soon! Life isn't so bad. If, after everything crappy that has happened, I can say nothing else, I can say this: I haven't lost site of the beauty God puts in front of my face every single day, and I take the time to say, "God, you freaking rock" every single day.

I think that's a nice place to end.

God, you freaking rock...and so do you, readers!

Nonprofit sector yields many jobs - News

2007-05-17T17:07:00.000-04:00

Despite how poorly written and obviously unedited this college newpaper article is, it proves a great point-I am more likely to have a job than you. :o) It states that the nonprofit sector is growing much faster than the for-profit sector, and there is a 60% increase in demand over supply of trined nonprofit managers because all the old hippies are retiring, leaving room for us young folks to take over. HA!

Nonprofit sector yields many jobs - News

Pray

2007-05-16T20:01:00.000-04:00

I just got a phone call from one of my very good friends back home. He told me that our friend from high school is one of the kidnapped soldiers in Iraq. He's MIA. I'm terrified. I can't comprehend what he's dealing with, and I feel very powerless. All I can do is pray. You should pray, too. This is a short blog, but that's all I need to say right now. That, and the fact that I'm feeling much better thanks to Andrew the superhero driving me to the ER last night and the crazy Russian doctor giving me a prescription for Percoset. I'm sleeping, finally, and I'm eating a little, too. Thanks for your prayers about that.

Stay safe, guys.

I am ill

2007-05-13T21:56:00.000-04:00

The fun of the Cedar Point trip is now showing its angry flip side. The windy, cold weather has caused an illness, the likes of which I haven't seen in months. My stomach is quite angry. All I want is some plum juice and ginger ale. They are my feel-better beverages. Warren said he would go to Food Lion and get me some at 10:30 when he takes a break from his paper. I've been napping all day, so I think I'll still be up by then.

Ivan went home after Cedar Point (he lives only 40 minutes from the park). I miss him! He was such a sweetie and left two cans of ravioli and some mac and cheese.

I just got distracted by a show on TLC called "Celebrating the American Woman." The first woman it profiled was a dairy farmer. I'd love to be a dairy farmer. I wonder sometimes how some people say that they can only be happy doing one specific thing with their lives. I would be happy as a clam to be a stay-at-home mom, dairy farmer, medical researcher, woodworker, teacher, hut builder, or anything else. Being the executive director of a nonprofit which promotes social justice and a healthy, happy world is simply what I have chosen to do. I think it will make me the happiest. I think it best utilizes the gifts and passions God has instilled in me. I really believe that with enough hard work and desire, I could be a successful anything.

I do not like when people say that hard work will get anyone anywhere and allow them to become anything. It's just not true. It's a self-soothing excuse of people who are successful to not help those who are not. "If homeless people worked hard enough, they'd find a place to live." "Study hard thoughout school, and you'll get into college and get a good job." It's just not always true. Very good people sometimes fall into very bad situations. Mental illness and substance abuse are not the leading causes of homelessness, despite popular middle- and upper-class belief. Shockingly, it is the lack of housing...WOW! Who knew? Ok, that's a little preachy, but I get so frustrated when I tell people about my career ambitions and they give me that tilted head with the slight smile. Their faces scream, "Oh, honey, that's so sweet. You're very naive, but that's a nice thought until you find out about the real world and get a real job as an accountant." GGGAAAAHHHH! I promise my job is real. Many people have the same job, they make very good money, and *gasp* my silly save-the-world career is even listed in the Occupational Outlook Handbook from the Bureau of Labor and Statistics.

Oh, sheesh, that frustration got out of hand. I'm going to call Warren to get me some juice, watch this neat TLC show, and fall asleep. Tomorrow and Tuesday are the last day of classes, and finals start Thursday. I have a HUGE project due next week that was supposed to take me 3 months...I haven't started researching yet. Oops. I'll do well. Until next time, loyal readers (do I dilute myself into thinking anyone actually reads this? Comment people, it makes the Suz feel loved!), I leave you with thoughts and prayers and virtual hugs.

Happy Day

2007-05-11T12:08:00.000-04:00

I am in a very good mood. I'm singing songs very loudly, I made new random friends walking back from my econ exam, and I get to go climb rocks with my hottie boyfriend all day before having pizza with the Cookes & company.

I go to Cedar Point tomorrow with several of my favorite people God put on this Earth. I love roller coasters, and I bought very cute pair of shorts yesterday, so I'm set for a day of fun!

I registered for national training for Freedom Schools, my summer job, yesterday. I'm very excited, but I'll be in Tennessee on substance lockdown for my 21st birthday! Gah! Oh well, I'm sure I'll have a superb night of drunken debauchery on June 11th when I return. All are invited to watch me drink myself to the brink of hospitalization! I told my mom I want a fun girls night of wine drinking and boy bashing with her, Jacquie, and any other female family members who would like to come.

On that same note, I have a pretty rockin' family! As far as family goes, I think I definitely won the genetic lottery. I am indeed partial to my Aunt Laura because we are so much alike. I am still sure that my cousin Stephanie and I were switch at birth...although she is a few years older. I think I'll email the fam and tell them how to access this blog so they can read for themselves how great they are.

Ok, more on how much my friends and family absolutely rock later. Ivani is very hungry, and for some reason rather excited to eat caf food. Ew. I'll blog soon!

Baby Lucy Goose

2007-05-09T23:20:00.000-04:00

So, my darling little Lucers came today. After 38 hours of labor, three fights with the vacuum, and an emergency c-section, the little girl decided that the outside world might not be so bad after all. I held her today, and I kept staring at her and back at Laura's stomach. I don't get it. I can't make the connection between that wiggly lump inside Laura that we painted for Easter and this also very wiggly little creature in my arms. I just can't picture her back in there.

Babies are also very wet looking. Her eyes looked like the baby alien's eyes that Will Smith delivered in Men in Black. Babies are hot. They are very hot, actually; not sexy hot, temperature hot. I kept having to switch arms because she was making my forearms sweat. Do forearms even sweat? Perhaps not, but mine felt very clammy.

Anyway, I like her a lot, and I think I will take a fun board game to the hospital tomorrow to play with the Laura. She is very bored, and needs to kick someone's ass in Scrabble very badly. Scatergories might work, too.

Ivan wanted to be mentioned, so here it is:

Ivan looked cute while holding Lucy today. He also gave me part of his gigantic steak when I ate all of my tiny, but delicious, steak and was still hungry. He told me I was too smart for my own good when I figured out the entire plot of The Illusionist very early on. He has decided to scrape up the money to come to Cedar Point with me and my very awesome friends Saturday. In conclusion, I rather like him. I denied him popcorn after he gobbled down a can of ravioli. I feel bad, and he got very cranky. *sigh* I guess I should let him have it, even though I hold firm that he is not hungry, but simply has the midnight munchies.

Thanks, loyal readers...*sigh*...reader (Erin). I love you bunches.

Waiting...

2007-05-08T09:21:00.000-04:00

I'ts 9:22am, and I have woken up every half hour since 6:00am, waiting for Little Lucy Girl to be born. I really thought birth was like the movies: a big dramatic water break, followed by a quick dramatic labor and birth. I thought babies just sort of shot out. Turns out the water is almost always broken by the doctor at the hospital, and the process of having a child takes hours. It doesn't even take three or four hours. We're talking hhhoooouuuurrrrsss. This pregnancy thing is a serious time commitment!

I'm very proud of myself for blogging two days in a row. This might be some sort of record.

On another note, Ivan is sleeping like a baby (more like a baby after a bottle of sleeping pills; this lump won't get up). All I want is for him to wake up and entertain me until I get the text message to come play with my new niece! I'm antsy, and he can usually distract me from whatever I'm obsessing over. Maybe I'll clumsily fall back into bed and turn the food network on. No one can resist a good episode of Iron Chef or Good Eats.

Oh! That reminds me that we get to go to the Chinese buffet today! We have just a little bit of money to spend when we're together, so we like to go there. It's like $6.00 for lunch, and you get free pop (soda for all you East Coasters) if you flash your student ID! I love the perks of being in college.

Ok, so I'm going to try to wake him up again, and I'll let you know how Lucy Goose turns out!

Figuring it All Out

2007-05-07T11:47:00.000-04:00

I've decided to start a blog. I read Laura-Love's religiously, and sometimes I think I should have a place where people can keep up with me. I'm terrible at writing letters, phone calls are sporatic at best, and I get so wrapped up in my datebook that I completely forget that a world exists outside of good ol' Frostburg.

So now I'm going to try my very best to keep up with a blog (which will also probably be rather sporatic). I will be no Laura Cooke, mind you, but I will stop and post when I can. I don't promise fun stories, but I do promise that I will see the humor in life. I don't promise terribly interesting stories, either, but I do promise to make the not-so-intresting updates as interesting as possible.

Sometimes I will make no sense. Sometimes I will make a lot of sense. Sometimes I will ramble on and on (you have my permission to stop reading in those cases), and sometimes a post will be just one sentence. Either way, I hope I keep up with this, and...

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!